Sunday, April 27, 2008

Hati ini

Hati ini tak berdering lagi
Hati ini tak lagi nyanyikan lagu menyambut pagi
Hati ini tak lagi bisikkan cerita pengantar mimpi

Hati ini telah mati

Sungguh
Hati ini tak mampu berdering lagi

Hati ini hanya menunggu datang dan perginya mentari
Hanya meratapi silih bergantinya sang wulan

Sungguh sulit lewati hari-hari
Karena kau tak hubungi lagi hati ini

Manakala teringat dirimu di sana
Torehan di hati ini kian menganga

Dan kini
Hati ini telah mati

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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A new life? A new smile?

Have you ever felt like it's better for you to fall down from the top of stairs in front of LKC, or be crushed by a car, ok, bicycle so that you lose all your memories and can start everything from the very very beginning?

If you have ever felt like that, we are the same...

If your answer is never, teach me how to think positively...

Really, these days, or even these weeks, I thought about it several times.... Ok, maybe more that several... I thought and until now I still think that it will be nicer if everything is reset and I can start a really new life...

Another thing that always popped up in my mind these days, or even these weeks, is going back to be a child and leave all my burden here...

Phew...
I am going to be mad, I think...
Too much pressure these days and I could not stand anymore...

I want to get back to my mom's arm and stay there till the end of the world... But I know I can't... I'm not a child anymore, although I want to be... I have some, or lot of problems to be solved...

I am not a wonder woman that can do everything... I need support, and I feel like no one supports me... When I want to seek advice, they are not there or here or anywhere for me... Sometimes I think, I always try to be here when they need me, but why don't they give me a little of their time?

Yup, maybe you think I'm selfish, but this is me... I have no choice except keep claiming about this life... All I did these last weeks was just starring without direction... They always said, "Ngelamun aja..." but what should I do? I cannot do anything except 'ngelamun'... I have no more strength to act as if I am the happiest girl in this world... I cannot lie to my own heart...

I want to fly...
I want to be a free little bird...
I want to sing lalala every single time I have...

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, Baby

I need you...
To reach my little little happiness...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Saturday, April 26, 2008

[Somewhere] Over the Rainbow

Really, I feel like I am going to cry when I listen to this song... In fact, I am going to cry because of the one who sang it...

Ya, a six-year-old girl with fabulous voice...

I was always shiver every single time I click the 'play' button...

Her voice is very clear and innocent...
Amazing...
You can listen to her voice by clicking the 'play' button on the gadget at your right hand side

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?


And, somewhere over the rainbow...
I am sure I will find my happiness...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Sapardi Djoko Damono--Aku ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
Seperti kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
Seperti isyarat yang tak sempat diucapkan awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada

Sapardi Djoko Damono

Sungguh
Setiap kali aku baca puisi ini
Aku ingin jatuh cinta

Aku ingin jatuh cinta
Seperti apa yang dirasakan kayu
Ketika api mengubahnya menjadi abu

Aku ingin jatuh cinta
Seperti apa yang dikorbankan awan
Ketika hujan mengubahnya menjadi tetesan-tetesan air

Aku ingin jatuh cinta
Secara sederhana

Walau ia bukanlah siapa-siapa
Hanya api maupun hujan

Aku ingin jatuh cinta

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
Seperti kata yang tak sempat diucapkan kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Friday, April 25, 2008

Ino, the lost boy

Phew... Today was a really tough day...

After getting some troubles in creating slide shows for Windi n Wahyu's birthday, I got another problem today...

Ya, I made a slide show for them using Windows Movie Maker, but you know, this s*** computer or the program or anything suddenly stopped the thing... I was editing it and it accidentally stopped... Wow, I spent almost one day since I seek the layout, thought about the words, compiled all my friend's comments, edited all of them, attached photos and sounds, and, wow, it stopped...

I almost cried that time... Really, it's really silly wasting a day just for an invisible thing... But, I had no choice except redid it, of course, using another computer... I used my roomie's computer and finished it as fast as I can...

Then...
Then...
Then...
Then, we celebrated Windi and Wahyu's birthday... Windi's was on 19th, while Wahyu's was on 22nd April... So, we laughed haha-hihi, sang lala-lili, and did blablabla-bliblibli...

Around 8, we finished all those things, and decided have dinner together... It's not important knowing that I had ayam penyet and gave half of my portion of rice to Gunawan... It's also not important knowing that I thought today's honeydew's delicious... The important thing was the problem we got after dinner...

Okay, before the problem said 'hi' to us, Acong helped us take some photos... Haha, I know it sounds silly taking photos at a food court, but we had to store the memories of 18 members of Palzzzntu having dinner together... The phenomenon could be recorded on history, I think... Lol...

In fact, we were nineteen today... we had Ino with us, but he disappeared at the middle of the event... After finishing our dinner, we called him and guess what we found...

I gave you ten seconds...

1

2


3


4


5


6


7


8


9


9.5


9.75


No, no, we didn't find a cobra, or a godzilla... We found a more surprising thing... we found his phone inside his bag... Wow, he left his bag, and he left his phone with us... So, our effort to tell him where we were is useless...

Let's get back to LT 20...
We rushed there and we found the door had been locked...

If Ino is inside, what we should do????
Inoo... Ino... *knocking the door*
Inooooooo... *banging the door ---Denny*

Noone shouted or yelled or screamed inside... There was just me feeling very scared outside... I felt like crying... How was him then...

Maybe he is waiting for us at Canteen A...
Let's go...

And we approached the new canteen that's one floor upstairs... We climbed the emergency stair instead of using lift... And, suddenly, the light went out...

Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh...

Whose voice?
From where?

That's my roomie's and my voice... We screamed together and I found my heartbeat automatically elevated to a very high rate of beats...

According to Frank Starling law, as the adrenaline goes high, the blood pumped to the heart will be more and more... So... Err, forget about Frank and Starling now...

And I found my heart beat so fast, and I found my tears flew... I was so chicken-hearted... Geez...

Okay, back to Ino...
Where was he?

We had gone to LT 20, McD, Subway, Broadway, Canteen A, N3 rooftop, N1 rooftop, N2 rooftop, LT 20 again, Library 2, Canteen A again, Canteen A again, Lee Wee Nam, and at the end, the pavilion of LT 19A...

I thought that I was going to collapse... Really, I thought he was locked inside LT 20, or even, I thought about more and more strange and far-from-logic things... Phew... I had a too-broad imagination...

Windi, with his new phone, called here, called there... Delli, without his new phone, also called here and called there... We made hypothesis and went to places he probably went... And at last, someone found him...

Where?
Inside LT 20 crying?
Or inside library studying?
Or benching?

Well, to the lowest of our expectation about where he was... He was in his room...

*Gubrax*

As I heard the news, I felt that all my body broke into pieces... I felt like going to the corner and smashing my head there...

Phew...
This story ended here...
Because the lost boy had been found...

Inside his palace...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

P.S. I feel like vomiting... Really... I am "mual" now...
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Thursday, April 24, 2008

My first year will end soon

Well, today is 24th April, not yet 29th to yell loudly that my exam is over, but I feel very relieved today, as if I have succeeded in moving Everest to Indonesia...

Yay...
I am very happy...
Not because I have succeeded in moving Everest to Indonesia...
But, that's only because...
...
...
...
I finished my life science paper..

Hmm, maybe it sounds very simple... But for me, it's a great thing, since all the courses I took this semester scared me very much... And now, I have passed almost all of the exams... There's still one paper, actually... But it can wait till tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... Lol...

Today's paper is the last paper for my core... That means, today is the last day for me having the same exam with all common engineering students... After this, we have to split to our own program... Ahin and I will go to civil engineering while the rest will stay at electrical and electronic engineering...
Hix...

I think I will miss this year at my next or next next or next next next year in NTU...
I think I will miss the days of attending lectures or even chatting when we attended lecture together at LKC...
I think I will miss the times when we discussed some problems related to our courses...
I think I will miss every single moments along this academic year...

My first year will end soon...
But, I believe...
Palzzzntu will not end this soon...

We still have time until the Halley's comet appear again in 2062...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Monday, April 21, 2008

Happy Kartini Day

The rain has just stopped and the cloudy sky has been changed with a soft and gentle sunshine... Ya, there must be sunshine after the rain... There will be happiness after happiness... There will be achievement after pain... There will be smile after tears... There will be a happy ending story after a bitter life path...

Like Ibu Kartini said, "Habis gelap terbitlah terang", so there will be 'hikmah' in every step and every slip we made...

Ya, today is Hari Kartini for Indonesia... Actually, to be honest, I totally forgot that today is Hari Kartini before Agung told me through MSN conversation... I even thought Agung was stressed out posting the lyrics of 'Ibu Kita Kartini' in his MSN personal message... But, the truth is I am the one who is stressed out... Haha, maybe it's all about exam so that I became rather 'lemot' these days...

************************************************************************************

According to Wikipedia...

Biography

Kartini was born into an aristocratic Javanese family in a time when Java was still part of the Dutch colony, the Dutch East Indies. Kartini's father, Raden Mas Sosroningrat, became RegencyJepara, and her mother was Raden Mas' first wife, but not the most important one. At this time, polygamy was a common practice among the nobility.

Kartini's father, RMAA Sosroningrat, was originally the district chief of Mayong. Her mother was MA Ngasirah, the daughter of Kyai Haji Madirono, a teacher of religion in Teluwakur, Jepara, and Nyai Haji Siti Aminah. At that time, colonial regulations specified that a Regency Chief must marry a member of the nobility and because MA Ngasirah was not of sufficiently high nobility[1], her father married a second time to Raden Ajeng Woerjan (Moerjam), a direct descendant of the Raja of Madura. After this second marriage, Kartini's father was elevated to Regency Chief of Jepara, replacing his second wife's own father, RAA Tjitrowikromo.

Kartini was the fifth child and eldest daughter in a family of eleven, including half siblings. She was born into a family with a strong intellectual tradition. Her grandfather, Pangeran Ario Tjondronegoro IV, became a Regency Chief at the age of 25 while Kartini's older brother Sosrokartono was an accomplished linguist.

Kartini's family allowed her to attend school until she was 12 years old. Here, among other subjects, she learnt to speak fluent Dutch, an unusual accomplishment for Javanese women at the time[2]. After she turned 12 she was 'secluded' at home, a common practice among Javanese nobility, to prepare young girls for their marriage. During seclusion girls were was not allowed to leave their parents' house until they were married, at which point authority over them was transferred to their husbands. Kartini's father was more lenient than some during his daughter's seclusion, giving her such privileges as embroidery lessons and occasional appearances in public for special events.

During her seclusion, Kartini continued to educate herself on her own. Because Kartini could speak Dutch, she acquired several Dutch pen friends. One of them, a girl by the name of Rosa Abendanon, became her very close friend. Books, newspapers and European magazines fed Kartini's interest in European feminist thinking, and fostered the desire to improve the conditions of indigenous women, who at that time had a very low social status.

Kartini's omnivorous reading included the Semarang newspaper De locomotief, edited by Pieter Brooshooft, as well as leestrommel, a set of magazines circulated by bookshops to subscribers. She also read cultural and scientific magazines as well as the Dutch women's magazine De Hollandsche Lelie, to which she began to send contributions which were published. From her letters, it was clear that Kartini read everything with a great deal of attention and thoughtfulness. The books she had read before she was 20 included Max Havelaar and Love Letters by Multatuli. She also read De Stille Kracht (The Hidden Force) by Louis Couperus, the works of Frederik van Eeden, Augusta de Witt, the Romantic-Feminist author Mrs Goekoop de-Jong Van Beek and an anti-war novel by Berta von Suttner, Die Waffen Nieder! (Lay Down Your Arms!). All were in Dutch.

Kartini's concerns were not just in the area of the emancipation of women, but also the problems of her society. Kartini saw that the struggle for women to obtain their freedom, autonomy and legal equality was just part of a wider movement.

Kartini's parents arranged her marriage to Raden Adipati Joyodiningrat, the Regency Chief of Rembang, who already had three wives. She was married on the 12 November 1903. This was against Kartini's wishes, but she acquiesced to appease her ailing father. Her husband understood Kartini's aims and allowed her to establish a school for women in the east porch of the Rembang Regency Office complex. Kartini's only son was born on September 13, 1904. A few days later on September 17, 1904, Kartini died at the age of 25. She was buried in Bulu Village, Rembang.

Inspired by Kartini's example, the Van Deventer family established the Kartini Foundation which built schools for women, 'Kartini's Schools' in Semarang in 1912, followed by other women's schools in Surabaya, Yogyakarta, Malang, Madiun, Cirebon and other areas.

In 1964, President Sukarno declared Kartini's birth date, 21 April, as 'Kartini Day' - an Indonesian National Holiday. This decision has been criticised. It has been proposed that Kartini's Day should be celebrated in conjunction with Indonesian Mothers Day, on 22 December so that the choice of Kartini as a national heroine would not overshadow other women who, unlike Kartini, took up arms to oppose the colonisers.

In contrast, those who recognise the significance of Kartini argue that not only was she a feminist who elevated the status of women in Indonesia, she was also a nationalist figure, with new ideas who struggled on behalf of her people, including her in the national struggle for independence.

Letters

After Kartini died, Mr JH Abendanon, the Minister for Culture, Religion and Industry in the East Indies, collected and published the letters that Kartini had sent to her friends in Europe. The book was titled Door Duisternis tot Licht (Out of Dark Comes Light) and was published in 1911. It went through five editions, with some additional letters included in the final edition, and was translated into English by Agnes L. Symmers and published under the title Letters of a Javanese Princess.

The publication of Kartini's letters, written by a native Javanese woman, attracted great interest in the Netherlands and Kartini's ideas began to change the way the Dutch viewed native women in Java. Her ideas also provided inspiration for prominent figures in the fight for Independence.

There are some grounds for doubting the veracity of Kartini's letters. There are allegations that Abendanon made up Kartini's letters. These suspicions arose because Kartini's book was published at a time when the Dutch Colonial Government were implementing 'Ethical Policies' in the Dutch East Indies, and Abendanon was one of the most prominent supporters of this policy. The current whereabouts of the vast majority of Kartini's letters is unknown. According to the late Sulastin Sutrisno, the Dutch Government has been unable to track down JH Abendanon's descendants.

Ideas

Condition of Indonesian women

In her letters, Kartini wrote about her views of the social conditions prevailing at that time, particularly the condition of native Indonesian women. The majority of her letters protest the tendency of Javanese Culture to impose obstacles for the development of women. She wanted women to have the freedom to learn and study. Kartini wrote of her ideas and ambitions, including Zelf-ontwikkeling, Zelf-onderricht, Zelf-vertrouwen, Zelf-werkzaamheid and Solidariteit. These ideas were all based on Religieusiteit, Wijsheid en Schoonheid, that is, belief in God, wisdom, and beauty, along with Humanitarianisme (humanitarianism) and Nationalisme (nationalism).

Kartini's letters also expressed her hopes for support from overseas. In her correspondence with Estell "Stella" Zeehandelaar, Kartini expressed her desire to be like a European youth. She depicted the sufferings of Javanese women fettered by tradition, unable to study, secluded, and who must be prepared to participate in polygamous marriages with men they don't know.

Religion

Kartini also expressed criticisms about religion. She questioned why the Quran must be memorised and recited without an obligation to actually understand it. She also expressed the view that the world would be more peaceful if there was no religion to provide reasons for disagreements, discord and offence. She wrote "Religion must guard us against committing sins, but more often, sins are committed in the name of religion"

Kartini also raised questions with the way in which religion provided a justification for men to pursue polygamy. For Kartini, the suffering of Javanese women reached a pinnacle when the world was reduced to the walls of their houses and they were prepared for a polygamous marriage.

Further studies and teaching

Kartini loved her father deeply although it is clear that her deep affection for him became yet another obstacle to the realisation of her ambitions. He was sufficiently progressive to allow his daughters schooling until the age of 12 but at that point the door to further schooling was firmly closed. In his letters, her father also expressed his affection for Kartini. Eventually, he gave permission for Kartini to study to become a teacher in Batavia (now Jakarta), although previously he had prevented her from continuing her studies in the Netherlands or entering medical school in Batavia.

Kartini's desire to continue her studies in Europe was also expressed in her letters. Several of her pen friends worked on her behalf to support Kartini in this endeavour. And when finally Kartini's ambition was thwarted, many of her friends expressed their disappointment. In the end her plans to study in the Netherlands were transmuted into plans to journey to Batavia on the advice of Mrs Abendanon that this would be best for Kartini and her younger sister, Rukmini.

Nevertheless, in 1903 at the age of 24, her plans to study to become a teacher in Batavia came to nothing. In a letter to Mrs Abendanon, Kartini wrote that the plan had been abandoned because she was going to be married... "In short, I no longer desire to take advantage of this opportunity, because I am to be married..". This was despite the fact that for its part, the Dutch Education Department had finally given permission for Kartini and Rukmini to study in Batavia.

As the wedding approached, Kartini's attitude towards Javanese traditional customs began to change. She became more tolerant. She began to feel that her marriage would bring good fortune for her ambition to develop a school for native women. In her letters, Kartini mentioned that not only did her esteemed husband support her desire to develop the woodcarving industry in Jepara and the school for native women, but she also mentioned that she was going to write a book. Sadly, this ambition was unrealised as a result of her premature death in 1904 at the age of 25.

*************************************************************************************

I am quite amazed that when I googled 'Raden Ajeng kartini', I got a lot of things... And also, it's cool that Wikipedia provides that much information about Ibu Kartini... That means that Ibu Kartini is known internationally, right?

Ya, she was a great woman...
No doubt that everyone adores her...

when I was a little girl in elementary school, still wearing white-red uniform, I thought that I wanted to be like Ibu Kartini...
And now, I still think that I want to be a strong woman...^^

Yup...
Happy birthday, Ibu Kartini...

Tomorrow I have 2 papers for exam...
Phew...
I have to go back to my Material Science...

But...
Let's sing a song first...

Ibu kita Kartini, putri sejati (Our Ibu Kartini, a real princess)
Putri Indonesia, harum namanya (An Indonesian princess, her name is fragrant)
Ibu kita Kartini, pendekar bangsa (Our Ibu Kartini, the nation’s warrior)
Pendekar kaumnya untuk merdeka (Her gender’s warrior for independence)
Wahai ibu kita Kartini, putri yang mulia (Oh our Ibu Kartini, the glorious princess)
Sungguh besar cita-citanya, bagi Indonesia (How enormous her dream for Indonesia)

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Saturday, April 19, 2008

I wanna hold your hand...

Got a thing from today's dinner!
Yippie...

I just went back from having dinner together with my roomie, Jefry, Windi, Andre, Tepen, Delli, and Denny...

We bought three bowls of ice cream at Canteen 2, and shared it together... Haha, maybe you will think that it's very poor that eight people shared three bowls of ice cream... But, that's a friendship and love, I said...^^

And suddenly, a question rose...

"If girl and boy share a bowl of ice cream, you will say that it's very romantic... If two girls share a bowl of ice cream, you will say that it's very cute... But... If two boys share a bowl of ice cream, you will vomit because it's very disgusting... Why?"
Even, Windi asked, "Di mana letak keadilan?"

So, we thought about this problem... Hmm...
After a hard (or not so hard) thinking, my roomie said, "Because boys usually eat a lot, so it's very weird having the view of two boys sharing meal together..."

Then we change the question...

"A girl and a boy can hold hands, two girls can hold hands, but why two boys will be said as gay if they hold their hands to each other?"
And Jefry tried to answer it...
"Karena wanita itu indah, sedangkan pria tidak indah... Jadi, kalau melihat dua orang wanita, keindahannya akan jadi berlipat ganda, sementara kalau melihat dua orang pria, yang sebenernya tidak indah, pegangan tangan lagi... Jadi makin ga indah donk..." (I tried to translate it in English, but I failed to make the right sense appeared... So, I leave it like that...)

And again, my roomie said, "Because girl-girl relationship is closer and more open than boy-boy relationship..."

Windi said, "Just 7 out of 10..."

Haha...
A crazy conversation, but I love it...
^^

I have my own point of view about this...
Wanna know?

Ya, without realizing it, we have classified everything into some classes... So, we have classified girls and boys also...
In our mind, girls are weak, soft, and they need protection... While our mindset about boys is that they are strong, tough, and they can stand on their own feet...

So, when we see a girl and a boy holding hand, we will say that this boy is very strong and gentle, he protect this weak and soft girl... When we see two girls holding hand, we will say, these two girls seek protection to each other... No problem la, since they are friends and no one protects them...

But... The case is very different when you see two boys holding their hands to each other... Yup... Very very very extremely very different... Those images about toughness, strength, and everything your mind has set will automatically disappear and you will shout 'YUCK', although it's just inside your heart...

Hahahaha...
Boy and boy relationship...

So...
What do you think?


U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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My mood hates exam

Phew... Actually I don't know what's going on inside my head and my heart... I don't know why my shining and marvelous mood turned over one hundred and eighty degree after I finished my lunch... I really think that I cannot control myself now...

Ya, ya, ya...
Forget about my mood now...

One thing inside my mind since yesterday morning is a phrase, GOOD LUCK...

Why did I think about this phrase?
Yup... During exam period, we can listen to everyone saying GOOD LUCK here and there, in the canteen, outside the exam hall, or even in the toilet...

I don't know why we have to (or at least, we assume that we have to) say this thing to others around exam period... Does it mean that we just need a good luck to pass the exam????

Maybe you will say, No...
But, hey, you see, a luck really bring a good result... A person studying very hard, day and night, sacrificing his playing, sleeping, or even eating time may get the same result as another that always play, and sleep, and play, and sleep again... It may just because what the lazy person studies the night before or an hour before appear as an exam question...

So...
Where's the justice of exam?

This is another thing that made me think that exam is very useless... Really useless...

Yup, yup...
I prefer assignment, I said it already...

Haha...
I am in exam...
And I say exam is useless...
But I am studying...

I am very unprincipled...
I have no bravery to break the habit and ignore those crazy grading system...

Have to study again...
*really unprincipled*

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Friday, April 18, 2008

Untuk Yap Fook Fah

Alkisah tersebutlah seorang bernama Febrina
Dia takut sekali pada pelajaran Fisika
Banyaknya materi dengan sedikitnya waktu tersisa
Sebisa mungkin ia berusaha
Berteman baik sesaat aja dengan Dinamika, Statika, Fluida, dan Termodinamika

Tapi apa mau dikata
Ketika si bapak mulai angkat bicara
Silakan balik lembar soalnya
Febrina hanya bisa menganga

Empat soal melambai dengan bahagia
Tanpa tahu tangisan di hati Febrina
Yang bersahabat hanya si Satu-a
Sisanya betul-betul bikin merana

Febrina pun takut dapat nilai merah
Ia mulai menulis dengan semangat membara
Menulis apa saja
Asal kelihatan bermakna

Sungguh malang nasib Febrina
Dua setengah jam memeras tenaga
Untuk hasil yang tak tentu rimbanya

Fisika, Fisika

Saat si bapak kembali dengan mikrofonnya
Berhenti menulis sekarang juga
Febrina hanya bisa pasrah
Menyerahkan lembar jawaban kepada empunya

Takut diri sendiri yang tak bisa
Mulailah si Febrina bertanya
Bagaimana ujiannya?

Dan apa jawab mereka?
"Die orredy"
"Cannot laa"
"What the hell"
"What the f***"
"S*** laa"

Jawab mereka sungguh bermakna
Membuat Febrina mengelus dada
Artinya mereka teman seperjuangannya

Dan Febrina hanya bisa tertawa haha haha
Sambil menunggu hasil ujian di degree auditnya

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

P.S. Doakan saya, Teman-teman...^^
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Akselsatuforever




Belajar di Lee Wee Nam ternyata amat sangat membahagiakan...
Kumpul-kumpul sama anak-anak Palzzzntu laennya sembari ngerjain soal sambari ngobrol sembari ngegosip sembari menghabiskan waktu luang...

Hahaha...
I love Lee Wee Nam... ^^

Tadi bareng-bareng Jefry, Windi, roomie, Delli, Nicos, Tepen, dan Asun... Baliknya, anak-anak hall bawah alias semua mantan anak aksel (Jefry, Windi, saya, Delli) min
us roomie nostalgia masa-masa SMP...

SMP saya di SMP Xaverius 1 Palembang, tempat di mana saya menghabiskan waktu dua tahun menuntut ilmu sebelum akhirnya melanjutkan ke SMA Xaverius 1 Palembang...


Ya, 2 tahun yang amat sangat berkesan sekali...


Kenapa saya bisa masuk kelas akselerasi???


Ceritanya gini...
Sebelum saya masuk SMP, belum ada yang namanya jalur penelusuran minat dan bakat alias PMDK buat masuk ke SMP Xaverius 1...

So, mau ga mau, semua anak yang kepingin masuk sana harus ikutan tes masuk dulu...
Setelah tes dan hasilnya keluar, ternyata saya dapet peringkat kedua dari semua orang yang ikutan tes... Peringkat pertamanya sahabat baik saya di kala itu, Sienny... Ga heran, dia jago banget matematika...^^

Mulanya kita ga tau apa fungsi peringkat-peringkat itu... Intinya, kita semua didistribusiin ke kelas yang beda-beda... Waktu itu saya masuk kelas 1A bareng Sienny, Wahyu, dan, hmm, hmm, saya lupa... Haha...
Terus tiba-tiba, 51 besar dari hasil tes masuk dikumpulin di satu kelas... Tiba-tiba ngeliat muka-muka nyeremin dari berbagai SD di Palembang... Dari sekolah saya, alias SD Xaverius 1 Putri, ada saya, Sienny, Savitri, Valencia, Nenny, Novianti, dan masih ada yang saya lupa... Dari SD Xaverius 2 ada Delli, Jefry, Agung, Andre, Suhardi, dan yang laen yang saya lupa siapa aja... Ada juga Windi, Jessica, n Nico dari Baptis... Ada yang dari SD Xaverius 9, SD Indriasana, SD ini, SD itu, dan SD lain-lain...

Dan akhirnya, terpilihlah 26 orang
yang katanya 'berhak' masuk kelas akselerasi... Yayayayay, 26 orang... Kecil banget kelasnya... Kelas percobaan ini dapet ruangan di ujung, ruangan yang mungil, kecil, imut, dan punya perpustakaan sendiri (tapi sayang jarang dipake)... Sayangnya... 26 orang ini ga bertahan sampai akhir... Di pertengahan semester pertama, Novianti harus hengkang karena kondisi kesehatannya yang ga memungkinkan... Herry dan Denny menyusul Novianti di akhir semester kedua... Lalu, Quina dan Raisa juga harus 'tereliminasi' di akhir semester keempat... Dan inilah daftar nama-nama anak Aksel yang bertahan hingga akhir...

1. Adeigha Mankotama (Kamboja---SMAN17---ITB)
Nih anak dulu jahat banget sama saya... Saya sering dikata-katain terus diajak berantem... Berhubung saya orangnya mudah panas, ya, saya ladenin kalo diajak berantem... Tapi sekarang kami udah damai, kok... Oh, ya, mukanya Deigha udah berubah banget... Dulu panggilannya 'Bibel' alias bibir tebel... sekarang kayanya ngga lagi deh...

2. Aditya Saputra (SDXav9---Kamboja---Bangau---Palcomtech)
Adi selalu make nama diri kalo ngomong... For instance, biasanya orang kebanyakan bilang, "Saya mau makan" ato "Gue mau makan" ato "Aku mau makan", tapi kalo kalimat itu diucapkan sama Adi, kalimatnya bakal berubah menjadi "Adi mau makan"... Haha, inilah uniknya Adi... Adi ini dulunya Pelajar Teladan se-Sumsel, lho...^^

3. Agung Sugiarto Tan (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---NTU)
Pertama kali ketemu Agung waktu ikutan seleksi lomba bidang studi Bahasa Indonesia tingkat kecamatan di SDN di belakang taman makam pahlawan... Saya sempet heran, kenapa Agung malah ikutan lomba bahasa bukannya matematika... Haha... Agung yang waktu SD juara umum kedua di sekolahnya ini orangnya baek dan gila maen game...

4. Andre Chandra (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---NTU)
Waktu SMP dulu, saya dan Andre hampir tiap hari ketemu... Sekolah sampe sore, terus les inggris bareng, terus les pelajaran bareng... Intinya, jadwal kami hampir sama semua deh... Hehe... Nih anak dulu sering duduk di depan saya... Dulu juga pernah digosipin sama Raisa gara-gara salah nginget hari ultah Raisa sebagai hari Pahlawan... Haha... Kocak...^^

5. Cenderawati Sulianto (SDXav1---Kamboja---Bangau---SIM)
Cencen ini adalah anak aksel yang umurnya paling muda... 23 Januari 1991... Udah sekolah kecepetan, aksel lagi... Keren... Dia punya kebiasaan yang unik, yaitu komat-kamit kalo belajar... Waktu dia belajar, diharapkan yang laen ga ribut... Kalo masih berani, siap-siap aja 'disemprot'... Cencen ini orangnya perfeksionis abis dan pinter ngerjain prakarya dan kerjaan gambar-menggambar...

6. Christina Yunita Widyaningrum (SDXav9---Kamboja---Bangau---Unsri)
Christina ini orangnya pendiam, mukanya manis banget, rambutnya keriting-keriting... Pokoknya imut deh... Ketemu dia pertama kali di lomba Matematika di Unsri waktu masih SD kelas 6... Kadang-kadang dia suka murung-murung ndiri... Overall, she is a good friend... Miss ya...

7. Cornelia Dya Ariestia Pratami (SDXav5---Kamboja---Bangau---MDP)
Dya ini cewek pertama aksel yang punya pacar... Maklumlah, sebagai anak-anak yang terisolasi dari dunia luar hanya untuk belajar, 'punya pacar' mungkin jadi hal yang agak unik... Dan Dya ini pemecah rekornya... Sebelum masuk aksel aja dia udah punya gebetan... Hebat, yah? Haha... Oh, ya, cewek ini selalu bawa kotak pensil yang isinya lengkap kaya mini market... Ada pena berbagai macam warna, lem gunting, silet, selotip, stapler, dll, dsb, dkk...

8. Dharma Delli Hakin (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---NTU)
Delli ini sering duduk di sebelah saya dulu, secara kita duduknya bebas setiap hari, jadi nomaden gitu... Orangnya pinter, tapi omongannya suka ngalor ngidul ga karuan gitu... Mungkin dari omongannya yang ngalor ngidul itu, saya cuma ngerti 10%-nya... Dulu tulisannya jelek, tapi sekarang udah jadi bagus n rapi...^^

9. Farenco (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---Trisakti---MDP)
Farenco, imut-imut dan menggemaskan... Kejadian yang paling saya inget adalah ketika ulangan sejarah dia dapet 100, padahal ga semua jawaban dia tau dan dia nulis 'no comment' di tempat-tempat yang dia ga tau jawabannya... Eeeh, mentang-mentang tulisannya bagus, dikasih 100... Haha... Tapi sejak masuk SMA, saya tak ditegurnya... Hiks...

10. Febrina Aryani (SDXav1---Kamboja---Bangau---NTU)
Agak sulit rasanya mendeskripsikan diri sendiri... Haha...

11. Isabella Kusuma Anjelin (SDXav2---Kamboja---Kumbang---UnAir)

Icha nama panggilannya... Rumahnya di deket rumah saya... Dia juga kelahiran tahun 1991... Masih muda... Duh, kok tiba-tiba saya jadi merasa tua yaa... Haha... Sejak masuk SMA, saya agak-agak lose contact sama Icha...

12. Jefry Hardy (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---NTU)

Jefry Hardy... Juara umum pertama di SD Xaverius 2... Suka keluyuran di kelas, sering mengeluarkan statement-statement yang bener-bener 'jlebb' juga... Jefry masih childish abis walopun dia udah tinggi sekarang... Dulu, waktu SMP, dia lebih pendek dari saya, tapi sekarang... Saya cuma sepundaknya dia... Tidaaaakkkk... Hix... Oh, ya, mobilnya Jefry itu kaya angkot... Sering ditumpangi orang-orang dari segala penjuru... Haha...

13. Lisa (SDXav5---Kamboja---Bangau---UKDW)
Sahabat baek saya... Dulu ikutan seleksi bidang studi matematika... Sienny dulu suka cerita-cerita tentang dia walopun saya baru kenalnya waktu SMP... Lisa ini orangnya keras, terkadang ga mau diatur... Tapi dia enaaaaak banget diajak bergosip ria... Haha... Lisa, Lisa, kangen bangedh sama kamu...

14. Mario Saputra (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---MDP)
Adeknya Nicholas Saputra... Haha... Mario ini kadang-kadang suka ketawa-ketawa sendiri... Orangnya pinter, tapi tulisannya kecil-kecil kaya semut gitu... ^^

15. Renni Angreni (SDXav5---Kamboja---Bangau---MDP)

Nih anak juga masih saahabat baek saya sampai sekarang dan saya harap kami bisa trus sahabatan sampe maut memisahkan kita... Anaknya cantik dan cewe banget... Saya ketemu sama Renni pertama kali juga di seleksi bidang studi Bahasa Indonesa tingkat kecamatan... Dia pernah bilang kalo waktu pertama kali liat saya pidato, dia terpesona karena saya dah bisa pidato, sementara dia belum diajarin... Hehehe... Renni, Renni...

16. Savitri Rahayu (SDXav1---Kamboja---Bangau---UGM)
Savitri Rahayu... Satu SD sampe SMA bareng saya... Tapi saya baru kenal nih anak waktu SMP... Waktu SD dia keliatan sengak banget... Ga mau negur gitu... Swt yah? Haha... Tapi sekarang dia termasuk salah satu kawan baek saya... Orangnya suka protes dan ngajak berdebat... Seru deh kalo ngobrol sama dia...^^

17. Sienny Valensia Gunawan (SDXav1---Kamboja---Bangau---MDP---?)

Sienny ini sahabat saya dari SD sampai SMP... Entah karena apa, ato saya ada bikin salah sama dia yang saya ga tau, kita ga deket lagi setelah masuk SMA... Dulu kita deket banget, sampe-sampe diomongin kembar sama Mr. Ardi, guru bahasa inggris kami... Dia ini cewe paling cantik di kelas kami, dikejer banyak orang dari segala penjuru bumi... Haha... Tapi kayanya dia udah not available deh sekarang...^^

18. Suhardi Kurniawan (SDXav2---Kamboja---Bangau---Psb Academy)
Suhardi juga sering berantem sama saya waktu SMP... Kalo ga salah, dulu, gara-gara masalah maen bola, dia pernah memprovokasi cowo-cowo sekelas buat musuhin semua cewe-cewe di kelas... Ya, alhasil, terjadilah Perang Dingin antara Blok Barat dan Blok Timur... Ckckck...

19. Surya Fajarianto (Indriasana---Kamboja---Gembala Baik---Atma Jaya)
Cowok paling tinggi di kelas... Orangnya keliatan pendiem dari luar, tapi kalo udah kenal, dia bisa ngomongin hal-hal yang kocak dan di luar dugaan... Dulu saya digosipin sama dia... Haha... Ga penting... Waktu SMA, dia pindah, balik lagi ke Pontianak... Sekarang dia ada di Atma Jakarta... Well, saya udah agak kehilangan kontak sama dia...

20. Valencia Christanto (SDXav1---Kamboja---Bangau---Unpar)
Valen ini adalah temen saya sejak SD kelas 1... Jadi, intinya, saya temenan ama dia sudah hampir 12 tahun... Orangnya pendiem, tapi sekarang udah mulai ga terlalu pendiem lagi... Wakaka... Dulu dia digosipin sama Windi... Haha, anak aksel ga ada kerjaan, gosip-gosipon orang... Haha... Valen, Valen... I miss you...

21. Wahyu Benardo Fantony (SDXav2---Kamboja---Kumbang---NTU)
Wahyu yang dulu dan Wahyu yang sekarang sudah sangat berbeda.... Dulu, dia suka ngatain orang, terus suka marah-marah ga jelas... Saya pernah mau pinjem pena dia, eh saya malah disemprot, "Modal oi, pena sikok b, dak sanggup beli apo?" (Arti : Modal dikit donk, masa satu pena aja ga sanggup beli??)... Lucu banget kalo diinget-inget... Sekarang Wahyu udah punya pandangan yang jauh lebih dewasa dan terbuka... ^^

22. Win Di (Baptis---Kamboja---Bangau---NTU)
Win Di ini dulunya saya ga terlalu kenal, karena dia kelihatannya agak pendiem... Tapi, ternyata, dia ga pendiem sama sekali... Malah dia sering mengeluarkan statement-statement yang memacu inspirasi saya buat ngeblog... Thanks, Win... Waktu SD dia juga ikutan seleksi bidang studi Matematika bareng Sienny, Delli, Lisa... Mereka saingan mulu... Hahaha...

Hmm... 22 orang dah saya deskripsikan secara roughly... Yaa, emang subjektif sih... Karena ini berdasarkan pengalaman saya sendiri...
Dua ta
hun jadi bagian kelas ini bener-bener sebuah anugerah...
Walopun ada juga kejadian pahit, tapi memori-memori pahit ini lah yang akan lebih manis untuk dikenang...^^


Semua yang terjadi di kelas ini bener-bener meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam bagi saya... Kata orang SMA adalah masa paling indah, tapi bagi saya, SMP jauh lebih indah dan membahagiakan... Saya malah kepingin terus-terusan jadi anak umur 13-14 tahun biar bisa ngerasain yang namanya SMP yang everlasting...

Ga terasa hampir 4 tahun berlalu sejak kelulusan kami dari SMP Xaverius 1... Sudah banyak yang berubah dari diri kami semua... Cowo-cowo yang dulunya masih imut dan lugu, sekarang udah tumbuh jadi cowo yang se
benernya, mulai belajar bertanggung jawab untuk kehidupannya... Cewe-cewe yang dulunya hanya tau cekikikan sekarang sudah lebih siap untuk menghadapi dunia yang kejam di luar sana... Yaa, saya satu-satunya cewe yang terdampar di NTU ini, dan saya kangen sekali sama temen-temen cewe saya...

Miss you all...


U're the best I've ever had

~FeN~


P.S. Nih, ada tugas... Cari perbedaan antara foto yang atas dan yang bawah...

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Aku butuh pena baru

"Apakah kita pernah berkenalan sebelumnya?"

"Kalo gitu, anggap kita tak pernah kenal selama ini..."

"Halo, saya Febrina..."

"Mari kita mulai dari awal lagi bersama-sama..."

*************************************************************************************

Pena ini pun bahkan tak mampu lukis rasaku
Pena ini pun bahkan tak mampu lukis rasaku
Tak mampu
Kurasa aku butuh pena baru
Apa aku juga butuh buku baru?

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Dia tinggalkanku sendiri di sini tanpa satu yang pasti
Aku tak tahu harus bagaimana
Aku merasa tiada berkawan
Selain dirimu
Selain cintamu
Kirim aku malaikatmu
Kar'na kusepi berada di sini
Dan di dunia ini aku tak mau sendiri


Embun memintaku menyisir pagi
Matahari membawaku mengarungi hari
Bulan dan bintang bantuku menutup malam sepi

Tapi malam ini aku tak lihat bintang
Bulan pun hanya tersipu di balik selendang putih kapasnya

Dan aku bertanya
"Di manakah bahagiaku?"

Kau tahu apa jawabnya?

Dia hanya tersenyum
Lalu menghilang di balik selendang putih kapasnya

Malam ini aku tak lihat bintang
Dan bulan pun enggan melihatku

Aku tak tahu harus bagaimana
aku merasa tiada berkawan

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Thursday, April 10, 2008

I am vomiting a blue

Again, the feeling of being abandoned pop up in my heart... And the images of 'you' playing with your new toys make me more and more severe... And to my surprise, I thought of 'him' today... He suddenly appeared in my mind today after disappearing for long time... Dunno why... Maybe because I am lacking of care and love and friends to share with, so I thought of contacting him... Hmm, if that's the way, I will just make use of him... I don't want to be that cruel... I don't need to abuse others, especially 'him', who lived in my life long long time ago...

I feel something stabbed my on my chest and it was super duper painful... For my not-too-good health condition, this feeling is really worsen everything... Phew... I cannot do anything now except pray for your good health, good concentration, and good decision... Hope you will get a very very good decision for our future...

Lalala
Lonely and poor Febrina
She cannot cry although she wanna
Now she needs her mama
To help her pass this idiot drama

Exam is approaching... That's Nicos' personal message...
Ya, really, exam is approaching... They all have started studying and preparing well for the exam, I think... But, me... I am the one who still have partial concentration rate (Sounds intellectual, right? But I don't know what it means, actually... =P) and I am the one who still think about other unimportant things... So foolish I am...

All the things that take all my concentration and energies are somehow make me want to vomit... I want to vomit all my problems, sadnesses, angers, and anything till nothing that can prevent my heart growing is left inside my heart...

I think about exam, how to manage my time, how to study effectively... I think about you and your new toys and our chit-chat yesterday, yesterday, and yesterday of yesterday... And I think about the reality that almost no one knows I am exist... However, I am also a human, I need a reward to prove that I am exist... And, you can see, how my brain is filled with lot of unimportant things... Hhhhh, I am really stupid...

I was going mad about you, but then I thought that none of the things bothered you... So, what should I bother it if you didn't even think about it????

Haha, what I am talking about... I also don't know...

Ya, ya, ya...
Exam is coming...
C'mon, Fen... Leave those crazy silly thoughts and start a brand new day tomorrow... (I think I always say this but I never made it come true... I always fall down before reaching the top...)

Phew...
I think I have vomited a small portion of my suffer and I am, oh, I have to be ready for the exam...

For all NTU students...
Happy exam...
Wish you all the best...

Let this be my exam wishes for you all...
^^

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Happy Holiday

Lalala... Quiz... Quiz... Quiz... Exam... Exam... Exam... Holiday.. Holiday... Holiday...
Come to me, Holiday...^^

April akan jadi bulan yang pastinya amat sangat melelahkan sekali buatku, buat rumetku, buat anak-anak Palzzzntu, buat anak-anak Indo NTU, dan buat seluruh anak-anak NTU... Karena, di bulan ini, kami harus menghadapi yang namanya exam, alias UAS...

Di jadwal saya sendiri, bulan ini ada 6 quizzes dan 7 exams... Dua quizzes udah terlewati, berarti tinggal (ato masih??) 4 quizzes dan 7 exams.

Cape naaa...

Beberapa hari ini tidur ngga nyenyak sama sekali... Kira-kira sejam sekali pasti bangun... Entah karena banyak pikiran, ato kepanasan, ato memang ranjangnya jadi makin keras, saya bener-bener ngerasa ga nyaman belakangan ini... Rumet bilang saya tidur dengan muka merengut dan banyak masalah... Parah banget yah... Hidup memang kejam... Haha...

Sore ini saya ada quiz Math...
Mudah-mudahan hasil saya ga terpengaruh sama mood deh...

Smangat, smangat...
^^

Mungkin setelah postingan ini, saya akan jarang ngepos lagi... (Tekadnya sih begitu, tapi setelah stres melanda, siapa tau???)

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Forward this if you want

I am very touched reading this story... Got an e-mail, I almost deleted it before opening and reading the content... But after I read it, I decided to 'forward' it...

2
Choices


What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its

dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do.

He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'


Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?'

I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play.

The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning.

I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.

I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.

The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Hapus saja semuanya

Dan sekali lagi, aku merasakan kekosongan ini...
Pengalaman bertahun yang lalu, yang kucoba tuk lupakan, yang kucoba tuk kubur dalam-dalam, kembali mengapung di permukaan otakku...

Sungguh, kembali aku teringat masa itu... Masa di mana dirinya, yang sudah aku percaya sepenuh-penuhnya, pergi begitu saja... Tiba-tiba tak ada dering handphone atau bunyi telepon... Tiba-tiba tak ada obrolan-obrolan ringan ataupun curahan-curahan emosi... Bahkan, tiba-tiba aku tak ditegurnya...

Kini... Hal itu kembali terulang... Aku tiba-tiba merasa begitu sepi... Yah, aku ditinggalkan untuk kedua kalinya...

Kata orang, hanya keledai yang jatuh ke lubang yang sama untuk kedua kalinya... Aku ditinggalkan orang yang aku percaya dua kali... Dan that means, I am a donkey... Aku keledai... Dan hal ini tidak menutup kemungkinan akan ada kejadian serupa untuk ketiga, keempat, atau kelima kalinya...

Mempercayai orang ternyata begitu berisiko... Lebih baik aku tak percaya siapa-siapa... Karena percaya berarti, secara sadar atau tidak, aku bergantung kepada kehadirannya... Dan ketika ia memutuskan untuk pergi dari hidupku, aku kehilangan tempat bernaung... Akibatnya akan jadi sangat fatal...

Mungkin ini saatnya, untuk menghapus dan menutup semuanya...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Thanks Windi

Again, I got a topic to write from Windi... Thanks a lot, he always shouts good sentences out... Yesterday, he said, "Actually, boys don't like a strong girl..."

Eh? I didn't really understand the point...

"A boy will feel very useless as he sees his girl is very strong and independent and doesn't need to be protected... He will feel as if he is a rubbish that isn't worthed to be with the girl..."

Oh, I understood what he meant...

"So," he told me, "Don't be too independent..."

Hwahahaha... Windi always knows how to make me speechless...
Am I too independent???
Maybe...
I don't like to seek help from others as long as I can do it by myself...

But...

Ya, let's left my independent habit first, because the point is Windi's words, not my habit...

So, is it true that a boy likes a weak and pampered and dependent girl more than a can-stand-on-her-own-feet girl??? After i go think think (Singlish mode: On) for a while, I think it's true...

A lot of proofs can be seen, that some boyish girls are very hard to get a boyfriend... I am not saying that boyish means dress like boy, do boys' activities, or something like that... Boyish means strong...

So, the lesson: Girls out there, if you want to get a boyfriend (or even more), learn how to cry in front of your boy and be pampered to them...

Wakakaka...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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U're still the best I've ever had

I realize that I am invisible, so it's very obvious why they always left or ignored me... One by one, they left me step by step... Left me alone here, with my tears flew... What mistakes that I have done, I wonder, so that all my friends left me... When I believed in them nearly with all my soul, they went away... So far that I couldn't reach them, even their shadow... They left me with my tears, my sadness, my anger...

This scar hasn't stop bleeding, and I just started to open my heart again, to believe once again, while, KABOOM... I am abandoned again... Am I that bad so that no one wants to be with me?

Ya, ya, ya...
Leave me whenever you want...

But...

U're still the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I owe you

A very big thanks I want to say to someone...
^^

Thanks...
I owe you a little happiness...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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