aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

Today was Christmas that come one month faster...

# Gift 1
Colleague: Feb, come...
Me: Ya? *quickly come over to the person*
Boss: Hey, she is on leave today. Don't pressurize her!

My boss is very nice and makes me smile from ear to ear :)

#Gift 2
Cleaner: Sister, you try to find me?
Me: Who told you?
Cleaner: *point to my boss' table*
Me: Oh... *hand him a bag* This is for you...
Cleaner: *stunned* Thank you...

I am happy to see happy faces :)

#Gift 3

The contractor admin came and brought quite a number of things. My laptop was coming! Yeehaaa!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

I wonder why people never exercise investigation before jumping into the conclusion. I know sometimes I did the same to people I love, but this time is too much. What people think about me is just unacceptable. They didn't know and they just kept prejudicing me.

I am sad.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

When I cry, no one understands why I do so.
I guess I am just lonely.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Do you ever feel that understanding is so difficult to achieve?
I am there now, hopeless-helpless-whateverless.

I want to make you understand, but how?

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Life is short indeed. Just in glance, without my realization, my granny has left me and her whole family. She was sick for 6 years and now she has been released from her suffering.

I am happy for her, really.

In her age of 86, she became so so so thin until I kept crying when I saw her inside the coffin. But, her face was peaceful and she was really beautiful. She's my granny, no matter what.

I still can remember how she usually told her grandchildren to quickly bathe and go for lessons, how she always asked her grandchildren whether we had eaten our lunch, and how she kept watching telenovela without understanding any single thing inside.

I still can remember how she fell sick six years ago, how she became so forgetful about people around her but still cared about her eldest son, how she became less and less responsive to everybody.

One time, during my first semester break, I went to visit her. I can still remember she told me that she was so sorry not to be able to fly to Singapore and look after me and my cousin. She said she wanted to cook for us, but she couldn't walk anymore. She shed in tears, I remember, and I was so sad that time.

Maybe I was not the one she cared the most, but I bet that I was the only grandchild that talked the most to her during those six years. I kept talking to her although she never responded. I kept talking and asking her things until she gave me answers and response. I taught her to make 'victory' sign with her fingers and took a photo of her. I painted her nails. I combed her white hair. I loved her, and I still love her.

Good bye, Popo. I am sure you are now in a safer, more beautiful, and more peaceful place. You don't have to care about this world anymore, you are happy there.

I love you.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Inside my room

Boss 1: *holding iPhone* Wah, I must forward this SMS. But, how? 
Me: You should copy and paste.
Boss 2: Huhhh? Cannot forward directly?
Me: Cannot. You should touch and copy, open a new SMS and paste it there.
Boss 1: So how how? I must copy and paste?
Me: Yes.
Boss 1: Wah, not friendly.
Everyone: ...
Boss 1: I should give this to ****. It's about site safety.
Me and Friend: *burst out laughing* I thought you want to give the phone to **** because it is not user friendly.
Boss 1: *laughing* No, I mean the SMS. 

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

...to have some friends?

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Finding a car lot inside the carpark

Friend 1: This one, can turn left or not?
Friend 2: Hmm, ahhh, can can can! Just turn, just turn!
Friend 1: Got lot ah?
Friend 2: Don't have
Me and Friend 3: ... *then burst out kaughing*

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

While choosing the interior finishing of the office.

Boss 1: I think we can have carpet for our welfare room. Only our team will use the room.
Boss 2: Oh, okay. So what colour do you want?
Boss 1: *thinking* Febrina, you choose. You are in the welfare committee.
Me: *speechless* *I never know such a committee exists*


U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

... is killing me

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

When I am too old to create more memories with you, I wish I can have this place at the corner of my mind that contains only you and me...

I wish, I really do...

Is there any space for both of us, only both of us?

You can say that I am unreasonable, but this is heart matter that sometimes cannot be argued over...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Yes I do.

Imagine when you had your iphone screen protector peeled off out of nowhere and found that the real screen protector was actually there, and you felt very happy.
That's the silver lining I found yesterday.

And I wonder whether that was just one of so many ways God used to convey the message to me that I should be thankful for every single thing in my life, either good or bad.

Brighter life is waiting for me down there, and I am not too far away.
Yes, a few more steps.

God loves me, and so do I.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~