Saturday, December 31, 2011

Thanks 2011

31st December is always a remarkable day for each and every year, including this year. Yes, another year is coming and everybody ought to say good bye to the year on 31st December. Good bye, 2011, you have been teaching me abundantly this year. Thank you, from the deepest of my heart.

2011 is a great year for me. I have been an adult this year, literally. I reached my 21st this year. Although there is no celebration, I am still thankful.

So many thanks I want to say to 2011.

Although I spent my 2011 countdown to be shed in tears, I am thankful that all my family finally could let go and disregard this problem. None of all humans out there shall disturb the happiness of my family. We are united, and we don't care what you are talking about behind our back. As long as God knows we are doing the right time, we are innocent and we are proud of it. Thanks 2011.

This year is also special because I made a big choice between pursuing a master degree and career. And I chose working in LTA instead of studying at Imperial College of London. Until now, I still wonder what would happen if I chose otherwise? Would I be happier? Would my future be brighter? Oh, well, I have chosen, so let it be. I am sure God has crafted a great future for me, no matter what path I choose to walk on. Thanks 2011.

And 2011 also marked my turning point from a tertiary student to working adult. I am so grateful that I managed to get through my four-year study with a glorious end. I successfully managed to achieve the first class honor and became one of the dean's list for my final year. Although I regretted that I was not given any award, I know I have done my best and achieved the best. I just felt so sad that my parents could not see me walking up to the stage and getting my medals or awards or whatever. I spent quite a lot of time to cry and blame whoever people I could blame, but then I realized something. Maybe this is the way God wants to teach me that not all of my desire could come true, I should let go and let other people sip the pride and happiness. As bf told me, "So far you have no difficulties to reach whatever thing you want to achieve, this is the time for you to learn.". Yeah, it's true. I have learned my lesson. Thanks 2011.

Joining this new family called LTA was a big leap in my life. From a student life that required me to study, do my tutorial, attend your classes, and join a few organization only, I entered this totally brand new life, with so many dark side. Although I've been here only a few months, I can see that so many people play politics and try to score some points from their bosses by stealing other people's credit. Some people are just bad bosses that can't appreciate their staff. I am so thankful that I chose my own boss and I know my choice is not wrong. My boss is a superb! He is kind, he is cool, he has a long term vision, he is so knowledgeable, he has the aura that intimidates the contractor, he is fun, he is young-hearted, he likes to chat with his staff, he is a super boss! Thanks 2011.

In LTA, I have learned so many things that I couldn't learn in university. I have learned about the real construction life and I am learning over an over. I have learned that it is not easy to be the youngest yet have someone older as your subordinate. I have learned that all the bosses up there only care about the final result, not the effort you put in to achieve it. I have learned that it is not healthy to be married to your job but yet, I still can't help it. I have learned that sometime you may feel redundant but there is always a way to make your existence remarkable. I have learned so many things throughout this seven months and I am learning still. Thanks 2011.

2011 also marked the loss of my grandmother, and today is her 49 days. That was the first time in my whole life to attend a funeral and become a part of it. I was sad, very sad. I cried over and over, although I knew that was the best way for her: to be separated with her pain and sadness in this world. I knew she was better off there, but still, I couldn't help it. I felt the loss. Although I haven't met her for one year or so, I still felt so attached to her. She took care of me when I was little. She reminded me to have lunch, to shower, to go for classes. I loved her and I still love her. Grandma, how are you there? This year, you can celebrate new year in  heaven. I am sure it is much better that what you can see here. Good bye, Grandma. Sabbe Sancarra Anicca. Thanks 2011.

And of course, I am thankful because I am still in my relationship with bf. We have gone through a lot this year, especially during the transition period. But luckily, we manage to get through it and be more understanding to each other. We are not the perfect couple, but we always try to fill each other's imperfection and create our own perfection. On top of all, we still love each other, that's why we are still here together, hand by hand, heart by heart. This year marked our 2 year of togetherness. I hope we will continue to walk together next year, 10 years from now, or even until death does us apart. Thanks 2011.

Thanks 2011. Thanks a lot. I will never forget you.

Last but not least, thanks 2011 for giving me so many friends this year. And for all of my friends, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!!!!

U're the best I've ever had
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Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Christmas wishes:
- being at home with my family
- a holiday
- being a sleeping beauty till new year
- a new water bottle
- a nice and romantic getaway with bf
- dendeng sapi cap anggur

Christmas surprise:
- my site office is ready soon
- my boss is playing Angry Bird
- my room agent sent me a christmas greeting
- 10 days without quarrrel with bf

Christmas sadness:
- being far from home
- no holiday
- Shihui is moving out out Expo

Christmas, please be nice... I don't want to be sick...

U're the best I've ever had
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Sunday, December 18, 2011


Working is indeed difficult. Not only about the responsibility you need to take for the job and others' expectation of your performance, but it is also about the working environment with random people bossing around you and random people totally ignoring you.

Working is indeed very difficult.

The time you spend for reaching the office, working in the office, and doing your work overtime.
The lunch time, personal time, and resting time you sacrifice for completing your work.
The dissatisfaction you feel when you are unable to meet your own standard.

Before I joined university, people kept saying that uni life is much more slack that schooling time. But later I found that people were just trying to bluff me. There is no such thing called slacking in uni life when you are more grown up and concern about your future.

And before I graduated, I kept thinking that working life could be easier than uni life, I just need to focus on my works. But, again, looks like I have been fooled by my own thought. Working life is much worse. There are so many things I need to think about: my future career path, my bosses' opinion about me, my quality delivery, my working environment, my time management, my this, and my that.

Now I realize I am to attached to my work. I wake up earlier so that I can reach office earlier, I ask my colleagues to help me pack some lunch so that I can continue working, I stay back late to keep doing my work, and I bring my work back home so that I can finish it on time or earlier. Sometimes, I even go back to the office during weekends to clear whatever thing I need to clear. I have a very limited time for myself, bf, and friends. I feel guilty.

Don't get me wrong. I am not complaining about my work. I just think that I need some personal life. My life these few months contains too much, W, O, R, and K. I want to find a work-life balance, but looks like life is just a dream.

U're the best I've ever had
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Friday, December 09, 2011


Today someone told me that I was incompetent because as an engineer, I couldn't even do the admin job properly. I was pissed off, I was hurt. I can't understand why people keep prejudicing me without no ground. Can't they understand that it is so hard to cope for two person job?

And come to think about it, why is it so difficult to contribute? Sometimes I feel that I am redundant. And I feel like disappearing, since I have no use to anything.

What should I do?

Am I that bad?
Am I that useless?

U're the best I've ever had
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Wednesday, December 07, 2011

The Funny Moment with Contractor

When I was reviewing contractor's report template

Me: I think it's quite good already, but you still need to add bla bla bla bla *keep adding things to be included*
Contractor: Hmm *nod*
Me: And this one, very unclear. Did you draw it by hand?
Contractor: No, it's not.
Me: But it's not clear. Can you just use solid circle?
Contractor: But it's donut shape.
Me: But it's not clear.
Contractor: But I like donut!
Me: *burst out laughing*

U're the best I've ever had
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Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Sixth Month

I don't like:
  • - when people accuse me without no ground
  • - when people don't do their jobs and still assume they are right
  • - when people pretend not to know anything when I have explained everything to them at least 3 times
  • - when people don't respect me just because I am new, inexperience, and a girl
  • - when I am supposed to do tedious and long-winded paper works
  • - when I have told myself over and over that I need to go to the site but the time is just not enough
  • - when I see the DAR files on my table keep towering up
  • - when I cannot find my stationary on my own table
  • - when I realize time is running too fast

Six months have exactly passed since I joined this company and I think I already know the good and bad of this organization. I don't regret my decision to join this line, but I still need to think for the future. Should I stay? Should I job hop? Should I study? Should I go back to Indonesia? Should I this? Should I that?

I am not going to get the answer now, but I am sure God will lead me through the best path. I have my faith in Him.

For this 6 months, thanks to all people that have taught me so many things, either in good and bad ways. 
Thanks for my super nice bosses that have shared with me valuable qualities to be applied for my future. Thanks for my colleagues that always answer any queries I shoot. Thanks for my super caring senior that keep teaching me about the real construction site. Thanks for my C923 team for the hard works. Thanks for all the workers that help me along the way with the SSO job. Thanks for my big big big boss for granting my request 3 months ago. Thanks for everyone that has played their own part in my development.

There is still a long way to go, to learn, to improve, to develop myself, and to reach my dream. But I am not giving up.

This is just a beginning.

See you in the finish line there!

U're the best I've ever had
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Monday, December 05, 2011

A letter

And this letter really made my day...

Although I am not sure whether I will pursue the recognition, at least I have one extra weapon for my future now...

I have passed the Fundamental of Engineering Examination!!!

U're the best I've ever had
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Contractor can be Entertainer sometimes...

After a presentation, all of us were waiting for the lift.

Listening to the sound, my boss and I quickly rushed into the lift with my contractor team.
But I just realized that the PM hadn't get into the lift yet.
Me: Ehhh, the PM!!!
Contractor 1: *already push the close button*
Contractor 2: It's okay...
Boss: Eh, he hasn't come in yet...
Contractor 1: My PM?
Me: Yesss...
Contractor 1: Oh, nevermind. I thought it's your PM. *looks very relieved*
Me: ...
Boss: Later your boss say: your salary also nevermind!

LOL! At least there's some entertainment in the office.

U're the best I've ever had
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Saturday, December 03, 2011


Kusadari dunia terus berputar dan kita ikut berputar-putar di dalamnya, tetapi mengapa kita tak berputar bersama?

Kutahu waktu terus berjalan dan kita ikut berjalan bersama waktu, tetapi mengapa kita tak berjalan beriringan?

Kumengerti kita tak lagi sama seperti dulu, tetapi mengapa kita tak coba bawa kembali cinta kita?

Apakah ini hidup yang aku mau? Apakah ini hidup yang kau mau?
Aku bermain-main dengan hari-hariku dan kau bermain-main dengan hari-harimu?
Lalu tak ada lagi ruang untuk bicara, tertawa, dan habiskan waktu bersama?
Ke manakah hari-hari indah yang dulu?

Bukan ini yang aku mau, mungkin ini yang kau mau.
Ntahlah, aku tak mengerti.

Aku tercekik hari-hariku sendiri.
Dan mungkin aku akan mati dalam kesendirian ini.

Dalam kesendirian ini.

U're the best I've ever had
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Number 1

Tell me in which position I stand.

Number 1? No, I am not sure.
After your work? Maybe.
After your games? Of course.
After your sleep? Absolutely.

Even it's difficult to talk to you now.
I am going crazy.

U're the best I've ever had
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Friday, December 02, 2011

Young by Heart

In the panel clinic

During registration
Receptionist: We need your father's name.
Me: But my father is not here.
Receptionist: You just write your father's name.
Me: *write my father's name in confusion and hand it to the receptionist*

After a while
Receptionist: I need your father's name.
Me: I give already.
Receptionist: *take the paper* So, it is your father who works at LTA, right?
Me: No, I am working at LTA.
Receptionist: Ooooh...

With the doctor
Me: So can I get an MC?
Doctor: Sure. Which shool are you in now?
Me: No, I am not schooling anymore.
Doctor: So, you don't need the MC.
Me: I am working now.
Doctor: In LTA?
Me: Yes
Doctor: The youngest worker there, is it? I still think your father is the one who works for LTA. Haha.
Me: ...

At least, I still look young, although 22 is approaching...

U're the best I've ever had
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