aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

31st December is always a remarkable day for each and every year, including this year. Yes, another year is coming and everybody ought to say good bye to the year on 31st December. Good bye, 2011, you have been teaching me abundantly this year. Thank you, from the deepest of my heart.

2011 is a great year for me. I have been an adult this year, literally. I reached my 21st this year. Although there is no celebration, I am still thankful.

So many thanks I want to say to 2011.

Although I spent my 2011 countdown to be shed in tears, I am thankful that all my family finally could let go and disregard this problem. None of all humans out there shall disturb the happiness of my family. We are united, and we don't care what you are talking about behind our back. As long as God knows we are doing the right time, we are innocent and we are proud of it. Thanks 2011.

This year is also special because I made a big choice between pursuing a master degree and career. And I chose working in LTA instead of studying at Imperial College of London. Until now, I still wonder what would happen if I chose otherwise? Would I be happier? Would my future be brighter? Oh, well, I have chosen, so let it be. I am sure God has crafted a great future for me, no matter what path I choose to walk on. Thanks 2011.

And 2011 also marked my turning point from a tertiary student to working adult. I am so grateful that I managed to get through my four-year study with a glorious end. I successfully managed to achieve the first class honor and became one of the dean's list for my final year. Although I regretted that I was not given any award, I know I have done my best and achieved the best. I just felt so sad that my parents could not see me walking up to the stage and getting my medals or awards or whatever. I spent quite a lot of time to cry and blame whoever people I could blame, but then I realized something. Maybe this is the way God wants to teach me that not all of my desire could come true, I should let go and let other people sip the pride and happiness. As bf told me, "So far you have no difficulties to reach whatever thing you want to achieve, this is the time for you to learn.". Yeah, it's true. I have learned my lesson. Thanks 2011.

Joining this new family called LTA was a big leap in my life. From a student life that required me to study, do my tutorial, attend your classes, and join a few organization only, I entered this totally brand new life, with so many dark side. Although I've been here only a few months, I can see that so many people play politics and try to score some points from their bosses by stealing other people's credit. Some people are just bad bosses that can't appreciate their staff. I am so thankful that I chose my own boss and I know my choice is not wrong. My boss is a superb! He is kind, he is cool, he has a long term vision, he is so knowledgeable, he has the aura that intimidates the contractor, he is fun, he is young-hearted, he likes to chat with his staff, he is a super boss! Thanks 2011.

In LTA, I have learned so many things that I couldn't learn in university. I have learned about the real construction life and I am learning over an over. I have learned that it is not easy to be the youngest yet have someone older as your subordinate. I have learned that all the bosses up there only care about the final result, not the effort you put in to achieve it. I have learned that it is not healthy to be married to your job but yet, I still can't help it. I have learned that sometime you may feel redundant but there is always a way to make your existence remarkable. I have learned so many things throughout this seven months and I am learning still. Thanks 2011.

2011 also marked the loss of my grandmother, and today is her 49 days. That was the first time in my whole life to attend a funeral and become a part of it. I was sad, very sad. I cried over and over, although I knew that was the best way for her: to be separated with her pain and sadness in this world. I knew she was better off there, but still, I couldn't help it. I felt the loss. Although I haven't met her for one year or so, I still felt so attached to her. She took care of me when I was little. She reminded me to have lunch, to shower, to go for classes. I loved her and I still love her. Grandma, how are you there? This year, you can celebrate new year in  heaven. I am sure it is much better that what you can see here. Good bye, Grandma. Sabbe Sancarra Anicca. Thanks 2011.

And of course, I am thankful because I am still in my relationship with bf. We have gone through a lot this year, especially during the transition period. But luckily, we manage to get through it and be more understanding to each other. We are not the perfect couple, but we always try to fill each other's imperfection and create our own perfection. On top of all, we still love each other, that's why we are still here together, hand by hand, heart by heart. This year marked our 2 year of togetherness. I hope we will continue to walk together next year, 10 years from now, or even until death does us apart. Thanks 2011.

Thanks 2011. Thanks a lot. I will never forget you.




U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~