Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Just wanna say...


U're the best I've ever had
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LOVE is all that I can give to you

Before I forgot about this. Let me share what I learned from COM201. Actually, what I learned wasn't just this theory. I learned a lot, but this one implied the real situation that we faced most of the day.

What is it?
It's about...




Love relationship.

Yeah, I studied about interpersonal relationship and love relationship was one of the content. Actually I wanted to share this since long long time ago, when I first heard about this, but I had no time to write, or, well, I was just lazy.

Love. Everyday we hear about love. You listen to a song and you catch a love in it. You go to a movie and you see love inside. Or just, you go to canteen and see two persons, girl and boy, you will say that they are probably in love with each other. But, do you know what the definition of love is?

If you go to here or here, you will find a bunch of explanations about love. But, I will not talk about it here. You can read it by yourself, huh? haha.

Based on the Love Triangle Theory, love contains three aspects that can't be separated: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Then, without one or more of them, it is just an incomplete love.

Love relationship can be categorized to three stages. First, escalation stage. Second, navigation stage. And third, the deterioration stage.

Escalation stage

This stage can be further categorized into six substages:

1. People don't interact with each other
In this stage, one hasn't found his future partner. They are seeking and they are wondering how they will look like and participate in a relationship.

2. Invitational communication
One has found his 'target'. In this stage, people will disclose each other securely, but what they say will contain more relational than content meaning. For example, "Do you like action movie?" can be interpreted as, "Do you want to go on a date with me?" and a response, "Yes, I like it very much!" may mean "I am available and attracted to you. How about you?". So, Guys, a lot of misunderstandings rise up in this stage. Then, you should be careful with your words.

3. Explorational communication
One starts to seek similarity between him and his partner. They disclose even further in this stage. They SMS to each other all day long, they call each other for hours just to find that they are somehow connected, and they start to show trust by sharing embarassing stories. 

4. Intensifying communication
In this stage, they can be seen together most of the time. Most of them just share time together but do nothing. For couple in this stage, they see togetherness as very important and they must be connected to each other whatsoever. Sometimes, they do idealizing to their partners. The perfect one, it's how they see each other, and unfortunately, they deny the flaws of their partners.

5. Revising communication
The couple starts to finds conflicts inside their relationship. They get back from the 'love euphoria' and start to face the reality. They talk about the strengths and the problems in their relationship, they seek possibilities for further relationship.

6. Intimate bonding
This is the stage where past and present experiences transform to future expectation. Partners adjust to each other's life and share a commitment. They decide to work on the relationship.

Navigation stage

This stage is just an extent of intimate bonding stage. They find new problems, revisit old ones, and prevent future problems. They get deeper and deeper into each other's life and heart.

Deterioration stage

1. Intraphysics phase
One starts to find that the relationship has some problems. Maybe they spend very little time together, or even, they share activities too frequently. They, then, wil feel some dissapointments to their partners.

2. Dyadic phase
In this stage, couple have two options. They can resolve the problems or they want to ignore it and breakup as the result. If they resolve it, the relationship go back to intimate bonding stage. 

3. Social support process
If couple choose to break up their relationship, they will go to this stage. This stage is all about how people explain their breakup to the world. Usually, they seek help from their family members or friends to raise them up again.

4. Grave dressing process
In this process, couple will understand fully that the relationship can't be saved already. Maybe they still cannot accept the reality, but they understand.

5. Resurrection process
They restart their new life

Yeah, so that is the model of love relationship. We don't need to go through each stage, though. We can skip some parts, and go back to some parts. It's flexible.

Huaaah, so hard to dig again the thing I forgot already.
Hope you like my information.


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New layout, new spirit, new life

Welcome to my new home^^

I decided to change my blog layout. I have made this decision (haha, decision, looks like this is a very important matter - lebai) since long long time ago, but I had no time to do it. Quiz here and there, this and that ECA, and of course, my laziness, prevent me from doing so.

And after I have been free enough to play with my world, I spent so many hours to search the layout fitted me, try to put it on my blog, fail, search again, attempt again, fail again, and it happened several times until I finally found someone, someone to share my life, I finally found the one, to be with every night. Oh, of course, that part was just my lebainess. I finally found this layout. Grey. Simple. But appealing.

This one is actually a wordpress layout that someone converted into blogger. Yep, that's right. That's why my blog looks like a wordpress blog now. Haha. I like it though.

I hope I will not get bored with this one, because it's really tiring to change all the things and start from the very beginning, for the gadget, I mean.

Yeah, and now, I officially open my new home for everyone. *clap,clap,clap
Or I need to say, "You may turn over the exam question paper now and start writing!"?

Once again, welcome. Hope you like and visit me frequently.^^

U're the best I've ever had
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Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'll sip the taste, I'm sure...

I keep starring, over and over, I keep gazing. I found myself inside my fear, my negative thought, my courage. I found myself swimming alone in the wide wide ocean and I lost my way. Geez, what on earth am I doing now?

I am sitting here, feel like giving up, but my concious self told me, "It's too late to give up, you have come until this far."

It's too late. I have chosen my path and I have to be responsible.

I'll take all the risk, I'll feel all the pain, I'll enjoy all the burden, I'll laugh with the tears, and at the end of day, I'll sip the taste of happiness.

Malaikat juga tau siapa yang jadi juaranya...

U're the best I've ever had
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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Catatan dua puluh november ketika (sekali lagi) saya teringat rumah

Tiba-tiba teringat rumah, bagaimana saya keluyuran ke sana ke mari kalau sedang bosan, capek, suntuk belajar. Tiba-tiba teringat rumah, bagaimana mama tetap mengatur asupan gizi saya di tengah masa-masa sulit seperti ulangan semester atau tes masuk NTU. Tiba-tiba teringat rumah, bagaimana saya menghampiri papa di ruang kerjanya, sekadar ngobrol-ngobrol atau duduk-duduk tak tentu arah. Kembali saya teringat rumah, bagaimana saya numpang rebahan di kamar dedek, menonton dia main playstation.

Teringat rumah.
Teringat rumah.
Teringat rumah.

Yang ada di kepala saya selain subject-subject yang examable tak lain dan tak bukan adalah rumah.

Yah, apalagi kalau sedang belajar begini. Bosan. Suntuk. Ngantuk. Capek. Mau keluyuran seperti di rumah? Keluyuran ke mana, kamar cuma 3mX3m. Mau mengharapkan asupan gizi yang sehat dan seimbang? Ga ada mama. Mau cari teman ngobrol? Siapa? Ga ada papa. Semuanya lagi sibuk exam. Bahkan MSN pun tak online. Atau, mau nonton orang main playstation? Boro-boro playstation, TV aja ngga ada. Ga ada dedek.

I wish I could skip these five days and find myself inside the aeroplane bringing me back home. Yeah, I wish. But I can't skip actually.

Besok soil mechanics. Pelajaran yang paling saya suka sekaligus yang paling menguras energi. Saya suka, karena pelajarannya ga abstrak. Jelas tujuannya. Tapi susah. Sungguh dilema.

Soil Mechanics membuat saya sakit kepala. Bukan, bukan sakit kepala dalam artian konotasi, tapi benar-benar sakit kepala. Saya butuh bantuan Panadol malam ini nampaknya.

Yeah, cukup sudah bloggingnya. Awan di luar jendela saya sudah mulai kehitam-hitaman, suram. Cepat juga jam yang tik-tak-tik-tak ini berdetak, sampai saya tak sadar kalau waktu saya untuk belajar semakin sempit.

Saya harus mempercepat langkah. Saya dikejar waktu.

Tidak apa-apa dikejar waktu, asal jangan mengejar waktu.
U're still in front.

U're the best I've ever had
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Should we feel ashamed?


What is friendship?

Friendship is happiness...
Friendship is sweet...
Friendship is smile...
Friendship is laughter...

Not really true...

Friendship is...


The dog is trying to wake his dead 'friend' up

He is trying to move his 'friend' dead body to sideway, barking to anyone wants to help. He doesn't want anybody to touch his 'friend'

Even a dog knows what the meaning of friendship is...

So, should we feel ashamed of ourselves?

U're the best I've ever had

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I'm in the middle of my way home...

Yes, half of my papers are done.
I don't care what the result will be. Ok, not really don't care. At least, now, I don't care about the result. The time for me to worry bout the exam result things will come at the right time. Yes, at the right time. Sesuatu ada waktunya masing-masing, yep.

I just finished my MoM paper. Yeap, my bloody 4-AU paper after another scary 4-AU paper yesterday. 

And tomorrow will be Fluid mechanics.

Somehow, I have no mood to study now. I don't know from which part I should start studying. Then, I end up blogwalking and facebooking.
Kebiasaan lama. Tak bisa berubah.

I think about home more than usual recently.
Usually, I thought about home all day long, and now, I even dream about home. 

I cannot help waiting for 25th November 2008...

U're the best I've ever had
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Friday, November 14, 2008

Saya tak suka, tapi saya masih harus menjalaninya *sigh

Exam is in the air!!!
Yow, exam sedang merajalela, menjajah kebebasan kita untuk menikmati dunia, atau bahkan, untuk menikmati tidur.

Jadi, berhubung topik exam sedang hangat-hangatnya. Dan saya, yang sepertinya gagal mendapatkan nilai bagus di exam pertama, juga bakalan ngomongin tentang exam. Againnnn? Yes, again, since nothing can't be pushed inside my brain for this period, except exam. Lol.

Di post saya yang satu ini, saya udah pernah menyatakan ketidaksukaan saya terhadap exam. Dan kali ini, saya akan kembali mengulangi pernyataan saya.

Jauh di lubuk hati saya, walaupun saya sekarang masih selalu ngiasu sebelum exam (karena saya takut ga bisa sementara orang lain bisa), saya ga setuju dengan yang namanya exam. Apa sih artinya exam? Buat apa kita belajar kalo belajarnya cuma sebelum exam?

Setuju ga sih kalo sebenernya exam itu ga tepat buat dijadiin estimator pemahaman siswa tentang apa yang udah mereka pelajarin selama kurun waktu tertentu? Bagi saya, exam itu estimator yang sangat bias dan ga akurat. Kenapa?

Pertama, nilai yang dihasilkan oleh siswa yang bener-bener belajar selama satu semester dibandingkan siswa yang belajar 1 malem bisa jadi sama. Bahkan, siswa yang belajar satu malem bisa jadi dapet nilai lebih gede. Jadi, apa gunanya nilai exam kalo ga bisa membedakan siswa yang bener-bener belajar dan siswa yang hanya sekadar 'belajar'?

Kedua, faktor hoki alias keberuntungan bisa sangat mempengaruhi jalannya exam. Siswa yang cuma belajar satu hari dan kebetulan mempelajari bagian-bagian yang tepat bisa dapet nilai setara dengan siswa yang mempelajari keseluruhan materi. Jadi, apa gunanya nilai exam kalo ga bisa membedakan siswa mana yang bener-bener bisa dan siswa mana yang kebetulan hoki?

Ketiga, nilai sebuah pemahaman ngga cuma ada di exam, kan? Seorang siswa yang paham, bisa mengerjakan soal dengan baik. Seorang siswa yang paham bagaimana langkah kerja soal tipe ini dan soal tipe itu juga akan bisa mengerjakan dengan baik. Ga ada bedanya. Padahal kalau di luar konteks exam, dua orang itu akan jadi beda. Jadi, apa gunanya exam kalo ga bisa membedakan siswa mana yang bener-bener paham dan siswa mana yang cuma bisa menghapal?

Keempat, mungkin aja ada siswa tertentu yang ga cocok sama tekanan exam. Sebenernya dia paham dan ngerti betul apa yang dia pelajarin selama satu semester, tapi dia gugupan. Jadi, ketika kakinya menjejak exam hall dan tengkuknya mulai ditiup oleh udara air-con yang tak berperikemanusiaan, apa yang udah dia pahami tiba-tiba buyar. Atau mungkin, dia orangnya terlalu detail dan ga bisa bekerja dengan cepat, jadi ga selesai mengerjakan. Bisa jadi begini, bisa jadi begitu. Yang jelas, exam bukan estimator yang baik. Exam ga bisa membedakan.

Saya udah pernah bilang kalau saya lebih setuju assignment daripada exam. Assignment lebih menuntut kita untuk mengerti, untuk menghayati, untuk menyelam lebih jauh, untuk menggali lebih dalam, untuk apapun itu lah namanya. Yang jelas, assignment dan project menuntut pemahaman yang lebih, yang ga bisa dituntut oleh exam.

Saya lebih setuju kalo di akhir setiap subjek, siswa punya sebuah project, yang nyata, yang konkret, aplikasi dari apa yang mereka pelajari selama satu semester. Lebih sibuk mungkin, tapi lebih paham.
Itu kan gunanya sekolah, belajar, dan belajar?
Supaya paham.
Supaya bisa berguna untuk dunia.

Kuliah pun ternyata masih abstrak.

U're the best I've ever had
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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Saksi kekejaman exam, Saya

0600, saya bangun, keluar, langit masih gelap, tak tampak tanda-tanda kehidupan

0800, saya keluar, ke toilet, mulai tampak orang-orang berjalan ke arah SRC sambil membaca notes, saya ikut deg-degan

0900, saya keluar, nyuci gelas, makin banyak orang-orang lewat di bawah sana, hati saya ikut berdebar tak karuan

1000, saya keluar, mandi, sunyi senyap, tak ada tanda-tanda kehidupan lagi

1100, saya keluar, ke toilet, satu dua orang mulai berjalan ke arah canteen 2 sambil membaca (dan menggigit) kertas ujian, saya bertanya-tanya gimana exam mereka

1130, saya keluar, tapau makanan, semua orang keluar dan berjalan ke arah canteen 2, ramai

1200, saya balik ke kamar, lewat MPH, anak postgrad sedang ujian, lagi-lagi saya deg-degan

1300, saya keluar, buang sampah, kembali banyak orang berjalan ke arah SRC, siap bertempur lagi, dan hati saya lompat-lompat lagi

1500, saya keluar, ke toilet, arus balik kembali terjadi

1630, saya keluar, hujan, dan manusia-manusia dengan buku-bukunya berjalan lagi ke SRC, saya makin takut mau exam

Guess, 1900 nanti, saya keluar, dan mendapati arus kembali berbalik ke arah canteen 2

Hidup dikelilingi exam halls...
Nasib... Nasib...

U're the best I've ever had

*15 jam sebelum paper pertama, masih ngeblog*
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Exam, cepatlah berlalu... Hush, hush, hush...

Sejak kemarin ada keinginan yang sangat besar untuk menulis, tapi saya ga tau sama sekali mau nulis apa. Aneh? Iya. Goblok. Pengen nulis tapil ga tau mau nulis apa, sama aja kaya pengen makan, tapi gatau tempat nyari makan di mana.

Ga mungkin kan saya merangkum rumus-rumus Probability dan Statistics di blog ini? Nantinya blog saya malah tercemar dengan rumus-rumus laknat itu. Haha. Mau update progress belajar saya? Not much progress, actually. Dua hari penuh dating sama Probability and Statistics di kamar saya, saya (terpaksa) jatuh cinta padanya.

Huee, saya udah ngelantur abis.

12 November 2008.
The start of semester I examination AY 2008/2009.

Dan besok adalah paper pertama saya, Probability and Statistic (yang sudah saya kencani 2 hari penuh, walaupun belum saya kenali luar dan dalam). Saya ingin cepat-cepat besok, bukan karena saya merasa pasti dapat full marks, tapi semata-mata karena saya ingin cepat-cepat memutuskan hubungan dengannya. Saya ingin menjalin hubungan lebih dalam dengan yang lain di luar sana, yang lebih menarik tentunya, seperti Soil, atau MoM. Hmmm.

Makin geje.

Things to bring for the exam:
1. Kalkulator (tanpa kalkulator, bisa-bisa 7 jam baru selesai ngerjain satu paper)
2. Pena, pensil, penghapur, correction tape, penggaris, dan seperangkat alat tulis lainnya, dibayar tunai (tanpa alat tulis, ga ada yang bisa ditulis di exam booklet)
3. Jaket (otak yang beku ga akan bisa bekerja dengan baik)
4. Air minum (otak yang kekeringan ga akan mampu menghasilkan nilai yang baik)
5. Matric card (ga ada matric card, pasti diajak ngobrol sama bapak-bapak yang jaga which means mengurangi jam mengerjakan soal)
6. Hati yang tenang (hati ga tenang akan menimbulkan jantung yang berdebar kencang dan lebih lanjut akan menyebabkan tubuh gemetar tak karuan dan ga bisa menulis apa-apa dengan baik dan benar)
7. Contekan (upps, yang ini optional =P)

Things to do before exam:
1. Belajar (ya iyalah, masa ya iya donk?)
2. Tidur yang cukup (tidur ga cukup akan menimbulkan ngantuk dan ngantuk akan menimbulkan turunnya tingkat konsentrasi)
3. Makan yang cukup (makan ga cukup bisa menimbulkan kelaparan dan kelaparan yang terjadi di exam hall saat mengerjakan soal adalah bencana)
4. Pastikan barang-barang yang harus dibawa benar-benar terbawa dan berfungsi (jangan sampe kalkulator anda memberikan hasil 5 untuk 1+1)
5. Berdoa 
6. Siapin contekan (yang ini optional yaaaa, ingat =P)

Things not to do before exam:
1. Shopping ke Orchard
2. Nonton di Cineleisure
3. Facebooking (tapi yang ini ga bisa dihindari XD)
(Isi sendiri lah, toh banyak banget hal yang ga sepantasnya dilakukan menjelang exam)

Things to do after exam:
1. Belajar buat paper selanjutnya
2. Buang lecture notes paper yang dah selesai (atau seengganya dijauhkan dari pandangan)
3. Berdoa bilang terimakasih sama Tuhan

Things not to do after exam
BAHAS SOAL (semakin dibahas, kesalahan yang ditemukan bakalan makin banyak, dan semakin banyak kesalahan, semakin despolah kita which bakal mempengaruhi mood belajar untuk paper-paper berikutnya --- biarlah jawaban dari soal-soal tersebut tetap menjadi misteri)

Dan, sungguh, saya benar-benar ingin menyelesaikan pesta ini secepatnya agar saya bisa pulang dan melakukan banyak hal yang sudah saya impi-impikan...

I'm coming!!!!^^

U're the best I've ever had
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Monday, November 10, 2008

Pardon me

Call me nerd, call me unsociable, can me freak, call me kiasu, call me anything you like, but I know what I am doing and I know what I am doing now is right, It's my way and it's different from yours. It's my prefference and it's different from yours. It's my choice, you mustn't poke your nose inside.

Pardon me for any unsociable things I have done these days.

U're the best I've ever had
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Thursday, November 06, 2008


Yeah, tepat seminggu sebelum exam dimulai dan saya sudah merasakan aura kiasu merajalela di mana-mana. Sejauh mata memandang, yang saya lihat adalah orang-orang dengan muka kusut sedang komat-kamit memandang textbook atau corat-coret lecture notes. Dan, mau tak mau, saya juga terkena dampak dari sindrom ini. Setiap semester, mau tak mau, saya harus ikut-ikutan meramaikan suasana PESTA RAYA FINAL EXAMINATION, sejak pra-penyelenggaraan sampai euforia pasca penderitaan.

Ya, saya mulai ikut ngiasu sana-sini sampai blog ini kelihatan agak terbengkalai. Yeah, right. Otak saya penuh sama pemikiran-pemikiran aneh, seperti, "Gimana ya kalo ga selesai belajar?", "Kalo ga bisa ngerjain pas exam ntar, mampuslah!", atau "Cukup ga ya waktu saya buat belajar?".

Pertanyaan terakhir itu yang muter-muter di otak saya hampir sepanjang hari. Exam pertama saya minggu depan dan saya nyaris ga ngerti apa-apa tentang part 2-nya. Exam berikutnya tanggal 17 November, jam 5 sore, dan itu EMPAT AU, walaupun elective. Untuk MoM keesokan harinya, saya bener-bener bingung harus gimana. Saya merasa masih sangat ga mantap di beberapa part (dan unfortunately, part yang penting). Huix. Tambahan, MoM juga EMPAT AU. Tidaaaaak!!! Belum habis penderitaan saya, exam masih terus bergulir ke tanggal 19 November, sore. Fluid mechanics. Jadi, saya harus berjuang mati-matian menyelamatkan SEBELAS AU dalam waktu 3 hari. Ya, 3 hari, berturut-turut. 

Belum bisa santai. Kalau kalender udah menunjukkan angka 21, saya harus balik lagi ke SRC untuk berjuang melawan Soil Mechanics yang untuk mempelajarinya butuh konsentrasi yang tinggi sekali, dan, I wonder, apakah satu hari cukup? Jika saya selamat keluar dari ruang ujian, masih ada Computational method menunggu saya dengan segudang rumus dan angka-angka. Huix lagi.

Tapi, lihat sisi baiknya. 19 hari lagi saya akan kembali ke tanah airku yang kucinta, pujaan hatiku, tempat ayah dan bunda, dan handai taulanku. Lalala~~.

Selamat exam semuanya.

Mari kita menyemarakkan PESTA RAYA FINAL EXAMINATION ini dengan ikutan mugging sepanjang hari dan mendapatkan nilai yang memuaskan.


Eh, salah, aplussss...

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Sunday, November 02, 2008


Penjara jiwa
Aku terpenjara oleh jiwaku sendiri

It is now 7.30 in the evening and I am sitting behind my desk, in front of my computer, surrounded by my MoM lecture notes, trying to catch words by words, numbers by numbers, while fighting with brain, which is wandering along the beach, sunbathing, and smiling to the freedom.

Hey, wake up!!!

Yeah, in short, I need to study, but I just don't get the right mood. Sigh, tomorrow will be my last MoM quiz and I have no mood to study. Helloooo, what the hell I am thinking right now? This is my last chance to recover from my 'down-to-earth' grades and I JUST have NO MOOD to study. How brave I am.

Since I went home at 5, I did nothing, except facebooking, blogwalking, checking e-mails, friendstering, starring my MoM book, facebooking, blogwalking, friendstering, writing some calculation for a question, facebooking, friendstering, blogwalking, calculating the answer, checking if it's right, finding that it's wrong, trying to redo it, facebooking, friendstering, checking e-mails, and, yeah, I just continuously wasted my 'precious' time.

And it's 8 PM now, I just finished checking my Multiply and replying some comments. Oh, my, I am really a good time-waster. 

Ding dong.

I need to study.
Or at least, I need to be more intend to study.

U're the best I've ever had


Spamming any yahoogroups

But, I think, again, this do and don'ts will be useless
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