Tuesday, November 25, 2008

LOVE is all that I can give to you

Before I forgot about this. Let me share what I learned from COM201. Actually, what I learned wasn't just this theory. I learned a lot, but this one implied the real situation that we faced most of the day.

What is it?
It's about...




Love relationship.

Yeah, I studied about interpersonal relationship and love relationship was one of the content. Actually I wanted to share this since long long time ago, when I first heard about this, but I had no time to write, or, well, I was just lazy.

Love. Everyday we hear about love. You listen to a song and you catch a love in it. You go to a movie and you see love inside. Or just, you go to canteen and see two persons, girl and boy, you will say that they are probably in love with each other. But, do you know what the definition of love is?

If you go to here or here, you will find a bunch of explanations about love. But, I will not talk about it here. You can read it by yourself, huh? haha.

Based on the Love Triangle Theory, love contains three aspects that can't be separated: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Then, without one or more of them, it is just an incomplete love.

Love relationship can be categorized to three stages. First, escalation stage. Second, navigation stage. And third, the deterioration stage.

Escalation stage

This stage can be further categorized into six substages:

1. People don't interact with each other
In this stage, one hasn't found his future partner. They are seeking and they are wondering how they will look like and participate in a relationship.

2. Invitational communication
One has found his 'target'. In this stage, people will disclose each other securely, but what they say will contain more relational than content meaning. For example, "Do you like action movie?" can be interpreted as, "Do you want to go on a date with me?" and a response, "Yes, I like it very much!" may mean "I am available and attracted to you. How about you?". So, Guys, a lot of misunderstandings rise up in this stage. Then, you should be careful with your words.

3. Explorational communication
One starts to seek similarity between him and his partner. They disclose even further in this stage. They SMS to each other all day long, they call each other for hours just to find that they are somehow connected, and they start to show trust by sharing embarassing stories. 

4. Intensifying communication
In this stage, they can be seen together most of the time. Most of them just share time together but do nothing. For couple in this stage, they see togetherness as very important and they must be connected to each other whatsoever. Sometimes, they do idealizing to their partners. The perfect one, it's how they see each other, and unfortunately, they deny the flaws of their partners.

5. Revising communication
The couple starts to finds conflicts inside their relationship. They get back from the 'love euphoria' and start to face the reality. They talk about the strengths and the problems in their relationship, they seek possibilities for further relationship.

6. Intimate bonding
This is the stage where past and present experiences transform to future expectation. Partners adjust to each other's life and share a commitment. They decide to work on the relationship.

Navigation stage

This stage is just an extent of intimate bonding stage. They find new problems, revisit old ones, and prevent future problems. They get deeper and deeper into each other's life and heart.

Deterioration stage

1. Intraphysics phase
One starts to find that the relationship has some problems. Maybe they spend very little time together, or even, they share activities too frequently. They, then, wil feel some dissapointments to their partners.

2. Dyadic phase
In this stage, couple have two options. They can resolve the problems or they want to ignore it and breakup as the result. If they resolve it, the relationship go back to intimate bonding stage. 

3. Social support process
If couple choose to break up their relationship, they will go to this stage. This stage is all about how people explain their breakup to the world. Usually, they seek help from their family members or friends to raise them up again.

4. Grave dressing process
In this process, couple will understand fully that the relationship can't be saved already. Maybe they still cannot accept the reality, but they understand.

5. Resurrection process
They restart their new life

Yeah, so that is the model of love relationship. We don't need to go through each stage, though. We can skip some parts, and go back to some parts. It's flexible.

Huaaah, so hard to dig again the thing I forgot already.
Hope you like my information.


U're the best I've ever had

1 thoughts:

Herry -- HgS said...

2. Invitational communication

" Mau makan bareng ga?"
" Aku ga mau jadi pacarmu"
" :s :s "