aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

Seeing my friends getting the glory I should have sipped makes me kind of envious. And foremost, my heart is hurt. I should stand there also, being one of them, that's what I think. I have been working so hard, for 4 years to be one of the award recipient in the convocation, but at the end, I get nothing.

Maybe you are asking, why in the first place I want such a thing? I want to see my parents' eyes glowing with pride and happiness. I want them to see me shining. That's all, no other reason.

However, God didn't grant me this wish. I know He has been so nice with me for my four year journey, but why He didn't bother to grant my last wish in my undergraduate life? I want to send the pride to my parents, why He didn't let me do it?

I have been nominated for 3 things and I get nothing. Even my friends that perform slightly worse than me can get at least one minor award, why can't I?

I know I should not be sad, but the feeling just seeps into my heart like water seeps into the structure through the weak joint.

Please, I need the strength to get my chin up and say congratulation to them, with a full sincerity. I need to be brave and I need to accept that I am not staying above the air forever. I am enough flying and now I am back on the cruel world. I am walking, I am falling down, I am bleeding.

Give me strength. One day, I will sure fly again.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~