aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

I was watching Glee this morning when I jumped into this song: 'Fighter' by Christina Aguilera. There was such a chemistry for me in the song and I quickly googled the lyrics. Then I realized, it's a perfect match for me, for my feeling, for my life.

Five years ago, I was an underdog. None believed that I could make my way to study abroad and get a scholarship. Even my teacher teased me in front of the class. But because of them, I was so determined to prove that I could complete the 'mission impossible'. In the end, I really got it and I was proud of it. I entered NTU with a scholarship and graduated from there with a First Class Honor. So many hardship I went through to harvest the fruits. And I am stronger, much stronger than five years ago.

Now, another test comes in my way. One year ago, I was too stupid to realize that I could never believe anyone wholeheartedly. I thought people always had pure hearts and be honest when they were talking to me. But, that was not the case.

People are just damn fake. They lie, they act, they badmouth, they accuse. But in front of you they smile, they laugh, they praise you. Holy Shit, this is life!

So many motives are hidden behind the mouth and the brain. I will never know what people want from me, what people are afraid of me, why people want to abolish me. I am just a small little girl here trying to find my way for a success: for a better life, a self achievement, a continual improvement.

It looks like that I am being stalked from behind. The culprit is moving without sound, but I know someone is there, waiting for the right time to stab my back and kill me. I can see blood, I can see tears, I can see sweat all over my body. I can see that I will be wrecked and I will sink into the deep sea. I will be gone, vanished into the black sea.

Another part of myself tell me not to let anyone destroy me. I am strong and I will be stronger. If the bastard wants me to fall down and tear apart, I shall be more solid and more threatening. I will roar like a godzilla and I will instead destroy my opponent.

I am a fighter.

Thanks for making me a fighter.



U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~