aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

Life is a choice and we have made lot of decisions along the way. Sometimes we turned right, sometimes we chose to keep walking, sometimes we decided to take a break for a while. And those choice was ours, not others'. Yeah, maybe people around us can affect how we think and act towards certain things, but the one taking the role on the critical time is us, only us. This is our own life and no one can change what we have decided, they just can give us some points of view. That's it.

When I was in kindergarten, my mum wanted to skip my grade-B class and let me enter elementary school earlier, but I don't know why, I decided not to go with my mum's plan. I wanted to have my year in grade-B. I chose my own way. And she couldn't do anything.
Another time, when I was supposed to enter elementary school, my mum wanted me to enter a school that my brother would enter later. Her reason was the convenience for her to bring and pick us up everyday. But again, I decided to enter another school, a girls' school and she couldn't do anything, again.

See, I've been so stubborn since I was a little girl. I chose my own way since this is my own life. I chose my own schools, I chose people I liked and I didn't like, I chose my style, I chose my way of thinking, I chose my friends and acquaintances, I chose how to behave, I chose my way of life, and I chose my own happy ending.

Yeah, I didn't always make a good choice, I admit. Sometimes I regretted what I did and sometimes I thought about finding a time machine and change my decision. But I knew I just couldn't. What I should do was just attempting to turn everything to be better. Maybe on one junction, I turned to the wrong way, but I could try to find another junction and get back to my desired track.

I've been very lost before. I chose a horrible turn that led me to a very dark and empty street. I was so naive and foolish that could be fooled that way. I was completely lost. But thanks God, I managed to get back to my life with all of my strength and of course, someone helped me. I owed him a very big thanks.

Sometimes I thought people were trying to steering me. Sometimes I was indecisive enough to be steered and follow the way they showed me although it was not what I wanted. Sometimes I hated myself for being not able to stand on my own decision. Sometimes I just felt like a doll. But at other times, I realized, some of the turns I made because of other people were not always bad. They tried to show me other possible ways to go.  They tried to give me other choices to be considered. So, later, I must be more open yet determined. I shouldn't be lost inside my own life. The brush for the final touch is in my hand.

And now, I do hope that I am on a good path that leads me to a very happy ending I always dream about. I hope Singapore, NTU, Civil Engineering, CEE Club, ICN, Hall 6, AECOM, and Andri are really choices that I will not regret later. I do hope that later, when I walk back through my memories, I will be smiling and saying million thanks to God for everything I have chosen in my life.

And later, I will live happily ever after.
The end.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~