aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

Time flies, really, time flies. It's already October, which means I am going to welcome my 5th month of works here. I can't believe how everything turned out to be so wonderful at the right time. I still remember how I used to whine and whine and whine about how miserable I felt during the first two months of my work: I had nothing to do except reading the documents without even being able to picture them inside my head, I lost against my course mates in getting the awards and valedictorian speech, I felt project management wasn't a right choice for me, I considered to quit and walk back to design firm, I almost lost my spirit to go to the office as days passed by.

However, God is good, GOD IS SO GOOD!!! He sent me some savior: colleagues, friends, and so many people that I could talk to and ask for suggestions. And He gave me the strength and the courage to create my own miracle. God was working so hard to let me out of my own confusion THROUGH HIS MESSENGERS. Thanks for all the people, you are indeed my God's messengers!!!

And since then, my working life rotated one hundred eighty degrees to the other quadrant. Happiness always visited me since then and I had so many motivations to wake up and get to work every morning. The office was still the same, but the atmosphere was truly different. Different people with different spirit created a different working environment. I kept telling myself, "I am blessed!" and yes I was, I am, and I will be...

August and September were really a fruitful time for me. I coped for so many things during both months till I felt so tired and exhausted, but there's a happiness inside my heart that I couldn't deny. During these two months, my works were piling up and I increased my study load day by day and now when I looked back, I just can't help to smile from ear to ear, I am happy to be busy, yes I am.

And 28th September 2011 was the day. I went through the Fundamental of Engineering Examination. Although I am not sure whether I can pass the exam, I am grateful that God has equipped me with so many strength and encouragement to go through the process. Although in the state of nervousness, I felt so loved by seeing my friends sending me encouragements before my test, and of course I felt so thankful for bf who accompanied me studying during the weekends and kept assuring me that I would win in the battlefield. Yes, at least I have done my best, and God will do the rest for me now. I hope I don't fail my exam, but if I fail, I know that I die in glory. Thanks, my dear God.

My August-September journey is closed with something so wonderful. I am inside the Dean's List one more time! I already think that I wouldn't get it since I didn't get any award during the convocation, and when I read the mail, I felt my heard jumping and jumping so high until my chest going to explode. I feel so loved! At least, my grade was still inside the 5% best among my cohort. I am so happy!!!

And yesterday, I talked with my boss for almost 2 hours. He was so sweet and kind and cute and you-name-it-whatever-it-is. He knew that my desire was in design and I think he is ready to let me go when the time comes. He supported me whole-heartedly for whatever my future would lead me to be. He is really a nice guy: a figure of a father, and I adore him. He's smart, he's fast, he's kind and cool, he has a long term vision, and he always smiles. I will learn a lot from him!!!

I must say a lot of thank you for August and September that have given me a wonderful time. Thanks a lot a lot for nurturing me throughout these two months. I am so much blessed, I am!

I expect more good things to happen in October. I expect myself to grow even wiser and more mature in this month.

I love you, World!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~