My name is Salmon, like the fish. First name, Susie. I was fourteen years old when I was murdered on December 6th, 1973. I wasn't gone. I was alive in my own perfect world.
A quote from Susie Salmon, said at the beginning and the ending of the movie: The Lovely Bones.
Thanks a bunch is sent to Huili for strongly encouraged me to watch this movie. "You will like it," that's how she persuaded me, and she was right, I like it. No, I love it!
Susie Salmon was just an ordinary girl. She was just a girl in early puberty. She wasn't a billionaire's daugther or something that people was very eager to chase against her. She had no big secret that drove people to kill her. She was just ordinary very ordinary.
She was raped and killed on her way back home by her neighbour, Mr. Harvey. She, then, was trapped inside a blue horizon between earth and heaven and watched every single things that happened after she had left. She saw her family becoming so fragile after her death. She saw her first love thinking about her. She saw her murderer being free to move on. She saw everything.
And after I watched this movie, I started to think, what would happen if I was murdered now?
Would my family let me go or they would trapped inside the greave for years?
Would my bf move on and find a new gf or would he hold the teary eyes for long?
Would my friends keep me in their hearts forever or would they just find my replacement?
Would they, who hate me, forgive all my faults or would they just laugh at me?
Would my murderer be happy or would he feel guilty?
Would I enter the heaven or would I trapped in the middle of nowhere?
And, I keep wondering, what would be the biggest regret if I died now?
Yeah, I don't know the answer, totally don't know. But, to be honest, I am afraid of death, especially those kind of tragic death. And I am praying to God, if You want me to die, please let me die in peace. I don't want to die in a car accident or being raped and murdered, being eaten by animals, being shot by revolvers, or whatever. If my time has come, please, please, please, let me die peacefully.
Anyway, I hasn't felt ready to die. I am just wondering.
Talking about movie, some movie that I really want to watch the most in near time:
1. Ip Man 2
The title is an Indonesian proverb people use very much. Translated in english, it becomes something like this: although small in size, chilli padi is sure very hot. People usually use it when dealing with some party/people that are so smart and fast and whatever despite their size.
And this proverb really implies to Singapore!!!
Being a too-small-even-you-cannot-find-it-on-the-map country, Singapore, so far, has shown its teeth to the world. Even before its independence in 1965, Singapore has become one of the richest countries in Asia due to its strategic location. After the independence day on August 9th 1965, Singapore has been growing and it never stops.
Singapore has become one of the most attractive countries now. So many students want to continue studying here, so many people want to come for vacation here, so many foreigners want to find a living here. So many people want to be the witness of more and more developments of this country.
And this little red dote has a very amazing project of Marina Bay!!!
Have you seen it? If your answer is not yet, I suggest you to scroll up your mouse and click the triangle button.
Marina Bay is the reclaimed land area in Singapore since 1970s. And the area hes been planned to be the extension of central business district (CBD) at Raffles Place. And later, you can find the georgeous mix of housings, offices, recreational area, and nature.
And, of course, I'm more interested to talk about the recreational part :)
The Esplanade
A theatre. With a durian shaped design, the construction of Esplanade was finished in 2002 and it became the icon of this little red dot. The facility inside the Esplanade includes teathre, concert hall, recital studio, library, exhibition space, and open space.
Merlion Park
A park. It is located in front of Fullerton Hotel and there is the Singapore iconic Merlion, half mermaid and half lion. The construction was finished in April 2002 and of course, this place became a great tourist attraction all of a sudden.
The Float @ Marina
A floating platform. Yeah, and this is the first stadium that is floating and considered as the biggest floating structure in the world. The platform can hold 30,000 people in the seating area and can sustain the load of 1,070 tonnes. It was designed in 2 years, built in 13 months, and started its operation in 2007.
Singapore Flyer
A ferris wheel. Yeah, like those in London, Chicago, or Melbourne, but this one is sure the tallest one. With the height of 165 m, people riding it can see all spots of Singapore, plus a few more area of Indonesia and Malaysia, from above. It can take up to 7.3 million passengers per year with 30 minutes time per trip. It was opened since 11 February 2008 and has suffered from two minor and one major breakdowns. The rotation was changed to clockwise direction since August 2008 due to fengshui reasons. *to get rid of the bad luck, maybe?*
Marina Barrage
A dam. It is actually a reservoir for supplying water across Singapore. Taking the use of Kallang and Serangoon Basin, Marina Barrage has been serving the fresh water of Singapore demand since 2008. It provides water supply, flood control, and life attraction area for people.
Double Helix Bridge
A pedestrian walkway bridge. And it is sure very attractive, with the design resembling DNA which represents life and continuity, renewal, everlasting abundance, and growth. And guess, this bridge is the first double helix bridge in the world building with a very special stainless steel to prevent corrosion. Besides the pedestrian brisge, there will be a six-lane vehicle bridge as well. To complement other structures in Marina Bay, it will start to operate soon and the opening ceremony as well as the announcement of the name of the bridge will be held tomorrow, 24th April 2010. There will be some performances, attractions, and also fireworks.
Marina Bay Sands
A casino. The second integrated resort in Singapore after the Resort World Sentosa. Being developed by Las Vegas Sands, it will serve as a great tourist attraction. Marina Bay Sands consists of three 55-storey hotel towers connected at the top by a 1-hectare sky park named Sands Skypark. The sky park will have the highest swimming pool in the world, located 975 m above the ground level. The swimming pool is designed to hold 1440 cubic meter of water and composed by steel. In front of the tower, there will be a Theatre Block, a Convention and Exhibition Facility Block, and a Casino Block. A lotus shape Art-Science Museum will be located next to the three blocks with retractable roof. And it will be opened soon, on 27th April 2010.
The New Waterfront Promenade
A walking patform. It's about 3.5 km long and it is scheduled to be completed in mid 2010. People can walk around Marina Bay by passing Colley Quay, One Fullerton, The Esplanade, The Float @ Marina Bay, Double Helix Bridge, and Marina Bay Sands along the Promenade.
The Fullerton Heritage
A rejuvenation. Clifford Pier and Harbour Branch Building will be rejuvenated to become leisure, F&B, and dining area. It is meant to link the modern city to its history since history really gives impact to how the city stands now. It is scheduled to open starting 2010.
International Cruise Terminal @ Marina South
A cruise terminal. This terminal has been built since 2008 and will start its operation in 2011. The capacity will be double compared to current berthing in Singapore. Later, it will be able to provide an area for four berths!!! Singapore is targeted to be a major cruise hub in the world.
Gardens by the Bay
A complex of parks. Three parks will be built around the area of Marina Bay. They are the Garden at Marina South, the Garden at Marina East, and the Garden at Marina Centre. The Garden at Marina South will link to Marina Barrage and it will have an artificial tree called Super Tree acting as hanging garden, rainwater catch area, night time lighting, bars and restaurants venue, and shading for the pedestrians. The Garden at Marina East is a waterfront park along the Marina Channel. Later, some recreational water leisure activities will be provided in this area. The Garden at Marina Center is a 10 hectares long strip of land along the Marina Promenade. This area will link the Promenade with the other two parts of Gardens by the Bay. The three parks will be completed by the end of 2011.
Okay, and I can't wait for all of them to be completed. I always love to see buildings with nice designs and good ambiance surrounding them. I even think about going for tomorrow's Double Helix Bridge Opening, but it will sure be very crowded there. Can I tahan?
I have spent my whole afternoon blogging and the time is showing 4.22pm, one hour before the weekend. I have no more mood to do anything and now I am confused about what to do to kill one hour time since this post is going to an end. Okay, don't mind me. I will find a way. :)
And, I really cannot wait for the Marina Bay to be something like this!
I see the worries in your eyes. I know what you are afraid for. I get what you are really scared about. I feel the insecurity that haunted you. And I am very sorry for everything. But, it's just the past, and you cannot change anything of it. You can't stand there forever and look behind, too. One single thing that you can do is moving on. And believe me, I'll be your company for your hard times: I'll be your shoulder when you are tearing down, I'll be your shelter when the storm hits you, I'll be your moon when the sun has set, and I'll be the one who smiles and congratulates you for every little thing you have achieved. Believe me.
Maybe you feel a big regret clogged in your throat. Maybe you think God is not fair to you. Maybe you think this world is standing against you. But, God is actually tempering you, strengthen your bones, flesh, and blood so you will be able to face the world at the very time. You are going to be as strong as the trees, you are going to fly as high as the birds, you are going to shine as bright as the sun because you are going through the training God has set for you.
Don't worry about the past. I know it gave you some scar, but sure you can do something about it. You still have time and you still have strength to do anything you want to do to fix it. Remember you have fixed my life one time? If you can do it to mine, sure this time you can do it better for your own. And of course, I'll be doing anything to encourage you.
Now, you need to look forward. Don't be afraid of what you are going to see. You must walk, run, jump, or even swim to reach the finish line over there. Maybe you will struggle, but every time you are feeling like giving up, think about your way back: how long you have walked, what barriers you have passed through, and who you will disappoint if you choose to stop. I tell you, always walk until you cannot walk anymore, God will take you in His shoulder.
Put your faith to His hand and you will feel His blessing inside you. Give your eraser to Him while you are writing your life, He will help you erase the obstacles.
Remember the phrases we like the most, "The champion is not the one who is leading at the beginning; The real champion is the one smiling at the end."
Hold this words tightly and we will be smiling at the end, together, forever.
Dunia membangunkanku pagi ini, sama seperti pagi-pagi kemarin.
Namun tak ingin ku membuka mata.
Karena aku sedang menaiki mesin waktu, kembali ke masa-masa itu.
Saya sungguh rindu masa-masa berseragam itu sampai-sampai mimpi akhirnya mengajak saya ke sana, mengunjungi lagi sekolah dan teman-teman saya. Walaupun tubuh saya tak ikut berkelana, tapi sungguh, kerinduan ini adalah nyata. Saya ingin kembali ke masa putih abu-abu yang hangat, duduk di kelas yang tak ber-AC, menatapi papan tulis yang dicoreti kapur, dan berjejalan di kantin hanya untuk sedikit makanan pengganjal perut.
Saya ingin kembali muda.
Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever, forever, and ever?
40 years since the first time they called the day EARTH DAY and the event still cannot get too much attention. So many people are still very blurr and ask, "What the heck Earth Day is?" or "Is it a public holiday? Can I get a day off from work?"
The objective of founding the Earth Day was to increase the awareness and inspire the appreciation for the earth's environment. Senator Gaylord Nelson from USA was the one who initiated this event and until now, this day is celebrated by so many countries around the world.
And this year, do they have any special celebration?
I don't know.
Yeah, I really don't know. I just know that some people concern very much about the climate changes, decreasing population of polar bears, polution, and water crisis; while the other just don't care, don't know, or don't want to know and care.
I surely agree with those who always shout campaigns to promote more awareness to the environment. I don't want my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, or whatever to feel worse conditions. I am already very fed up with the unpredictable weather. It can rain in an instant and turns to be very hot a second after. I am already very tired of inhaling those carbon monoxide from vehicle emission, I am already very stressed for imagining the world will reach its very limit soon. I want to see this world getting old and I want to get old with it. I love it.
I want to be more environmental friendly. I want to save the earth. I want to protect my beloved land. I want to contribute more to my world.
Kadang aku bertanya-tanya pada dunia, mengapa manusia diciptakan beda-beda? Mengapa satu orang dan yang lainnya suka pada hal-hal yang berlainan? Mengapa harus ada pihak-pihak yang mengalah? Mengapa selalu ada pengorbanan di atas kebahagiaan?
Seperti hanya sedetik memejamkan mata Aku berubah Entah inginku atau bukan Aku melangkah Dan untuk kembali Aku butuh lebih dari setahun cahaya
Manusia itu egois, ingin menang sendiri, selalu merasa benar, tak pernah mampu melihat dari mata orang lain. Begitu pula aku yang hina ini.
Mengalah itu adalah hal yang paling sulit untuk dilakukan dengan ikhlas. Aku selalu berusaha mengalah, tapi selalu ada pamrih yang aku harapkan. Aku ingin nantinya orang lain yang mengalah untukku. Aku ingin jadi raja sekali-kali. Aku tak tahu apakah mereka juga mengalami hal yang sama, tapi aku merasa palsu. Untuk apa aku mengalah jika aku hanya menghindar, sementara hati kecilku masih merasa tak puas? Aku sungguh palsu. Jubah. Topeng.
Lagi-lagi perasaan itu datang. Lagi-lagi aku marah. Adakah yang mengerti apa yang aku rasakan waktu itu? Bukan hidupku, memang, tapi aku ingin yang terbaik untuk dirinya. Aku takut bertindak. Semua bagai buah simalakama. Bagai terjerat dalam jaring laba-laba. Cepat atau lambat aku akan ditelan bulat-bulat dan dicerna.
Since I opened my eyes this morning, so many things came across my mind. When I was taking my shower, I thought to write this entry for pouring all those things.
6.42 am
Rain comes again, I guess. In one week, I have experienced two rains and I guess this morning will be the third. I hate rain. Yeah, I hate it with all my heart and soul, especially when it comes in the 'right' time.
Rain means water puddle. Rain means gloom. Rain means money loss to those ice cream seller. Rain means traffic jam. Rain means slower movements. Rain means mood swing.
Yesterday when I was passing through the rain to reach Lavender, I was really sure that I hated it. My shoes, my bags, even myself got wet. And suddenly, I thought, if I was in Palembang, I wouldn't need to get worried about the rain. I could just sit in the car and reach the destination without any raindrops falling on my head. And suddenly, I missed my home so much.
6.59 am
I guess this is the time for me to go out and face the world. I will continue once I reach the office.
8.59 am
I am LATE! Yeah, rain always messes everything up. I waited for the bus for about ten minutes, I waited for the MRT for about five minutes, the MRT stopped for a while before Jurong East Interchange, I reached Lavender at 8.30 am, the rain started to pour again when I was walking, the lift was so full when I arrived, and I got headache. S**t.
9.25 am
Where's my Semakau Island soil profile????
9.55 am
I wonder why people tend to hit their watch to the side of my table while passing by, It always made me surprised and to be honest, I hated it. It really made me 'jump' and think that someone was angry with me. And I don't know why it happened every time I was checking on my Facebook/Plurk, reading some forums, or blogging. Is that the sign from God that I should stop slacking?
11.12 am
I really think that I should try to be more thankful. I seldom feel satisfied with everything I have had. I always want more and more and I never get enough. Is it a strength or weakness? I don't know.
I never looked at the happiness he sent me, but I always protested against the things I didn't like about his treat to me. I am really selfish.
I need to learn to see the very small thing he always does to me and say a sincere thanks.
3.47 pm
A busy Friday and I like it. Despite the uneasiness in the very morning, I feel very happy today. I am happy for being surrounded by very kind colleagues. I am happy to know SJ. And she is trying to find a bird expert now! XD
4.02 pm
I can't wait for the Final Year Project List to be released. I want to see the list of projects, find my ideal supervisor, and work everything out for my future. Am I really sure with geotechnical engineering? Or should I choose another specialization? Should I pursue my master degree later? Will I be rich and happy? Will my dream come true???
Heaven knows.
4.45 pm
Thanks a lot to Huili! She bring some foods for me from 33rd floor. It looks like they are having a party while I am having my private party with Geoslope. XD.
And after she got back to her office, I checked my mail box and found this e-mail from Prof. Lim:
He is soooo sweet. So caring. And I love him!!!!
Love you both!!!! <3 <3 <3
5.46 pm
SJ said, "Next time join us lah!"
XD XD XD
:) :) :)
I am delighted
10.19 pm
I was having a very good time with bf today, although we just did nothing in Jurong Point. We talked, we laughed, we had fun. The feeling that I didn't feel recently came back eventually. I am happy. :)
But, the censor for toilet, pantry, and laundry were spoiled AGAIN. I had to rush to the 4th level for having my shower, and guess, the water heater didn't work well!!!
Just a place, a simple place: where black and white mix and swirl around, where thoughts stop by, where wishes and expectations meet, where tears and angers are friends to each other, where experiences be told as stories, where writings become the pura lingua. Just all about Fe-Ar.
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