aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

Time flies so fast. And I have to get back to this tiny red dot. I don't feel like coming back, but I know that I have no choice.

Oops, I indeed have another choice to stay back home and do nothing. However, I still have my obligation to pay my debt and I do feel like exploring this field more before I decide to stop.

So many things I have been thinking about this time: my job, my destination, my future life, my desire, my future family, everything.

I am reaching 22. I am still young, yet I am so near to an age that people call mature. People can say that I still have time to play and explore this and that a little bit, yet I need to decide on which path I want to walk to reach my desired future. Time will not wait. I need to get going.

I believe that destiny was drawn beforehand, but human still has the authority to change everything. I will have a happy ending, I am sure.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Again, it is almost Chinese New Year. Year by year just pass in a speed of light, too fast, too fast to be noticed.

A good year is coming, a dragon year. So many marriage, so many pregnancy, so many hope in this new year. I don't know whether this year will be a fabulous year, but I will put my best effort to create an extremely beautiful one.

I am grateful that God sends me so many wonderful people around me. I am blessed, I am blessed.

People in the office care for me. I am really thankful to have them, especially my two bosses. All my inspectors are also very supportive and help me a lot. Colleagues from other contracts are also very cute and care for me a lot. Yesterday I just had a talk with them and I just found out that all the while they thought that I was an intern! Haha. No wonder they called me xiao mei mei. Today my boss also called me 'little girl'. At least, I feel younger.

My auntie at home are also one in a kind. Although I am not related to her and she has no obligation to me in any form, she takes care of me like her own daughter. Oh my, I am so blessed.

And not to mention, my bf that always loves me for whatever and whoever I am, my family at home that always support me for every decision I take, and all my besties that are always there for me to chat and share. I am so blessed.

I am so happy that tomorrow I will go back home to see my family. I am so blessed!

Xin nian kuai le!!!!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

I don't want to stop smiling. This is indeed a great pre-CNY present.

I hope it will come to reality.

To travel and to study, and not to pay. :):):)

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Sometime ago during a meeting,

QP(S): You know, C922 D-wall cutter broke down... Until now, they still cannot fix it...
Boss: Who is their subcon???
Me: Tuksu
Boss: Oh, nevermind. Our subcon better. They will always su one.

And the whole room burst out laughing

I went to site that time,

Contractor 1: *talking to Contractor 2 in Korean*
Contractor 2: *looks surprised* *face me* Febrina, you need a chair?
Me: Huh? What?
Contractor 1: Bring umbrella also!
Me: Ehhhh? No no no!

I just realized Contractor 1 told Contractor 2 to bring a chair so I could sit, ON SITE. What the hell. Hahaha.

In the MRT,

Train announcement: Lorong Chuan
Bf: I think I want to live here, people always cuan one...
Me: ...

Eh, actually there are so many terrace houses and condominiums around Lorong Chuan. Maybe he is true.

A lunch at Sakae Sushi,

Boss 1: *talking to Boss 1* So, this is for you. Finish up.
Boss 2: *facing me* Febrina, you are the youngest. Eat.
Me: Whattttt????

And I ended up feeling so full of sushi.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Yesterday I attended this so called 'career talk' for undergraduate students. Yes, I have graduated, but my director asked me to go there and support him. He said I might be a good model for the students. Oh, yes, okay, whatever.

The event was yesterday, and he informed me YESTERDAY, 3 hours before the event. I didn't prepare myself, event the slightest.

I WORE POLO TEE + JEANS + SPORT SHOES!!!

And I was supposed to be a good model for the students.

I was like, "What???? Are you serious????"

But, bo pien hor. I went there, and not unexpectedly, people misunderstood me as a student that came to attend the career talk instead of an engineer that came to share with the students.

Sigh.

Paiseh, paiseh.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

My mom told me once before.

"A lady can love a man who loves her and adores her, but a man will never love a lady whom he didn't like."


"So, a lady should not chase over a man, because there won't be any way that things can be sorted up."


"A lady should only fall into a man who adores her more than anyone else."

I guess I have forgotten this a little bit.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

A sweet beginning and bitter ending~~~

I won't forget today... My tears drop for the first time in 2012...

Sh*t!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Sometimes I think that marriage life may be pretty interesting. You can have the whole flat for yourself, not only a 3m x 3m room. You can cook together, you can clean up together, you can arrange thing as what you like, you can do nothing on weekends and no one care, you can buy bread without worrying that you can't finish them up before expiry date, you can do this, and you can do that. The most important thing is that you can SHARE and CARE.

I am not ready for such a life, but sometimes I imagine myself taking care of my family. I want to have one, someday...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Thanks to my good friend that reminded me to this manga. I spent my weekends reading, finally! A quality reading!

Nodame Cantabille is a story about a girl studying in Momogaoka Music University. She plays piano, but she plays as she likes it. She can't sight read, she skips the tune, she can't play well, but she has a powerful talent. She is in love with a school idol, which is her neighbor. And the journey of these two people to reach their dream begins.

Although the drawings are not too good, the story flows well and I love it! It brings back memories about how youngsters usually dream and compete. I think I aged so badly since I started working and this story is sure a wake up call for me. I still can dream and I should work hard for my dream.

Although you love your bf/gf so much, you still can't lose to them. You must compete with each other and create a fast pace together for the bright future. There is no such a thing as let-him-shine-and-I-watch from-the-background or as-long-as-he-succeeds-I-am happy thing. Both shall land safely to their dream land and both shall be considerate to each other! And in the end, they can succeed together.

Keep dreaming. Keep your interest. Keep your love.
And you'll be the happiest person at the end of the day.

Mukyaaaaa~~~~



U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Say hi to 2012.

For this year, basically, my resolution is to be thankful for everything I have and to hold on this principle very tightly: being happy is a choice.

Yeah, being happy is indeed a choice. You can choose to be happy in every situation, even in a bad one. And you'll end up appreciating more. On the other hand, you can also choose to be dissatisfied and keep whining over anything and you'll end up suffering for the whole year. I want to be the first one: to be thankful, to be happy, to keep shining. I am sure by having a beautiful heart, I will be a beautiful person, and I can make the world even more beautiful. :)

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one... I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will live as one...

For this world, in 2012, I hope there will be less earthquakes, floods, and other natural disasters. I hope there will be less brutality, like those fathers-rape-their-own-daughter or daughters-slap-moms-in-the-face thingy. I hope for more justice to the poor. I hope more good leaders will be born and lead the world to a better state. I hope there will be no more war and conflicts between countries. I hope for less corrupted country leaders. I hope all religions walk hand in hand. I hope there is no bombing, assassination, and murder. I wish for world peace.

And for my own self, I have a few points to highlight.

As a person, I wish I can be better.
-I wish I can always be thankful and grateful and be closer to my God.
- I want to cultivate patience in my life as I realize this is one of my problems so far. I should hold my anger and not throw my tantrum so easily.
- I shall continue to learn and read and gain as many knowledge as possible. Nothing should stop me from learning to be better in every aspect of my life.
- I also hope that I can maintain a good lifestyle: less fried food, less snacks, less carbs, more exercise. My target for this year is to be slimmer and have a good shape. ;)
- I should continue to save money for my future: either study or business start up.
- I wish I can have a firm idea of what I want for my future. I should not continue to walk in the mist and uncertainty for too long.

As a girlfriend, I wish I can be an ideal one.
- I shall not throw my tantrum like a mad dog. I want to reflect before getting angry. I am sure he never wants to hurt me, so I shall not hurt him.
- My target for this year: minimum quarrel, more understanding. I think we have achieved a better level of understanding in these few months, but really, we shall continue to attempt the harmonious living in our love life.
- I also wish he has the same determination as me. Two is better than one!
- I really wish to spend the next new year celebration with him.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~