I was very blue today... After having my lunch at Canteen 1, my mood automatically turned down... I felt like vomiting, but I couldn't do it... All I had to throw up could not be thrown, including my anger, sadness, and problems... So, I called my mom... I called her and cried, begged her to come and see me... I was sure all I need now is not anything or anyone, but my lovely mom... So, I begged her and I awas very sorry that I made her confused... Hix, I'm a bad child...
Then, before going to Language Puzzle bla bla bla exam, I wrote an e-mail to adom_intnl@ntu.edu.sg...
This is the e-mail...
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I clicked the 'send' button with a bunch hope that my request would be fulfilled... I was trying not to put so much hope, but I couldn't do that... I checked my e-mails continuously, but no one left me a message that I wished...
30th April 2008
The same syndrome appeared today... I had a very big tendency to check my e-mail and found the good or bad news inside... But, I went to Jurong East today, so I couldn't check my e-mail... Then, Palzzz got a short gathering session at Seminar Room... (We weatched movie!!Yay!)
I had no time to check and when I checked it at night, my inbox was still the same as before I left it for a day... No reply to my urgent e-mail... I was very sure I didn't send it to a wrong address and this thought led me to a conclusion that my request might not, could not, and will not be fulfilled...
Ya, I was trying to accept the decision since it was my fault anyway... Phew...
1st May 2008
I was really upset... And today, again, I left my computer alone... And again, no important e-mail appears...
I have thought of a negative answer, so I applied for part time job as an usher in CEE tea reception, 17th May 2008...
2nd May 2008
It seemed like I was a 'jalan-jalan' addicted... Haha, today I went again to watch The Forbidden Kingdom... A good movie, I think... Ya, ya... I was very sick and very tired today... Vomiting all the way from NTU to NTU again... Ya, I was sick... I was stressed out... I was sad...
One moment I felt the sick, stress, and sadness flew out from my life was when I saw the subject of one e-mail... Re: business finance MB102... Was it a good or bad news? I calmed myself... A bad or a good news it would be, at least, I got a clear status on my request...
My heartbeat was faster and faster when I decided to read the message...
And this thing appeared on my screen...
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Yay... I felt like I wanted to jump-jump-jump like Tiger, Winnie the Pooh's friend... Yay... I can go back to my mom... Horaay...
Horay...
Yay...
But...
I will leave my roomie...
I will leave Palzzz for one and half months...
I will leave my chance to clear my degree audit as quick as possible...
Phew...
I am very happy, but I felt rather sad... I am so unprincipled...
3rd May 2008
Yosh, I need to make a decision... I decide to go home, and reflect myself... This semester was too heavy for me... I was lack of love, happiness, self confidence, and everything along the way... Really, I want to go home, reflect all my faults, change myself as a new spirit, and come again as a brand new 'Fen'... Hope this time wish can be fulfilled...
The plan for me to go home is in progress...
Looks like I still have something to do...
- GL outing
- OG meeting
- Hall IC meeting
- Taking the 'new' fridge
- Taking the lecture notes for year 2
Yay...
Go home...
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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2 thoughts:
Fen... oi2, kayaknya imel ini mending nda dicopy paste deh. Just minimizing risk... soalnya ada tulisannya tuh... :p
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thx2...
ga baca bener...
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