Saturday, March 07, 2009

Fe-Ar is in FEAR

Another sad story. My life is more like one of Poirot's cases. Hey, really, lot of things came to my head and stuck there. They never went away, kept me worry all day long.

My insomnia went more severe. I don't know why, but my brain keeps running and supply me with some crazy ideas and imaginations. Gosh, just for now, I want to be a such-a-no-dream-and-imagination girl.

I just tried to fit myself inside this country. I didn't want to keep my parents worry about me begging for going back home. I didn't want to let them think that I would suffer from another phychosomatis illness due to my stress. I tried so hard to like this country and I just managed to feel a little more comfortable to be a part of this mini-country. I had a promise to myself that I wouldn't grumble and grumble about going home in the middle of the semester and worry my parents, but I just broke it.

I just told my mom I wished May would be tomorrow, I wanted to go home, and I was sick being here, stuck inside a (look like) conspiration. I broke my promise and I made my mom, again, worry about me. I am not a good girl, I guess. I didn't want to make my mom worry and turn her sad, but I kept crying and complaining about the 180-degree-turn of my life. God, please, keep me strong.

Then, what bothered me, actually?
  1. The first case, of course.
  2. The second case, since this morning.
  3. More strange cases, OMG.
  4. I am such a coward and I somehow believe in mystic, then, of course, g**st.
  5. The 'destiny' Indo-NTU fellows, including me, will face in the future
  6. The conspiration anywhere in this world (I'm not mature enough to feel this pressure).
  7. Crazy NTU will kick everyone out from the hall and give only very little spaces to store the stuffs.
  8. This hall is getting very quiet this weekend, Goodness!
I hope everything will be alright.

Please, any crazy fantasy and speculations, leave my brain.

U're the best I've ever had

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