aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

I never thought that I would ever be this close to a mistery novel. I always like to read it, but I never dreamt to be inside the circle of cases.

Still, a lot of speculations about the two recent cases keep appearing to the surface. Some really seek evidences and all sort of things, but some just talk like they are Aoyama Gosho creating their own version with no proof and even thought at all. Yeah, nothing's wrong with guessing, but if it is done in front of public or in one of the social sites, it sure will create a new perception of the things and maybe start a new misunderstanding.

Actually I also have some scenario inside my brain, stuck there, and it has been expanding since I read those statements in media and those hypothesis of people. A lot more possibilities come and will never end, I think.

Some said the prof wanted to 'steal' his FYP.

Some said there was sexual abuse before the case happened.

Some said there was another guy collaborating with the prof, a 3rd party.

Some said the case wasn't just between the prof and the guy, it was more about this country's stability.

Some still insisted that the guy was mentally ill.

Some got angry and pointed the university as a 'crap' university.

Some speculated that the second case was related to the first.

Some guessed that the second case was just a fake scenario to distract people's attention.

Some believed that the guy in the second case was killed in order to shut his mouth.

Some positively thought that the guy in the second case really committed suicide and the two cases were not related to each other.

None of them was my opinion, I just summarize all the things I have read here and there. It's hard for me to speak out my opinion since I am still under this university and I never see the spot. Yeah, I admit, I still talk about it, but not in public. I can only help all people who want to fight for him by praying and supporting. Anything you do, I will support you and my nation. It's not just about a super genius guy, it's about the reputation of Indonesia and all 'anak bangsa' in the eyes of the world.

For those of you who want to see whether I have lied to you about summarizing all thoughts about these two cases, please visit this site, this site, or this site. You will find that lot of people are actually having talents to be a detective, and of course, you will find that you are more and more imaginative after linking all those scenario.

Thanks, God, I still can get up and blog today and another thanks that I could sleep without any nightmare yesterday. My insomnia still attacked me, made me hard to fall asleep and made my sleep not sound. I felt like more tired after getting up, sigh. Someone knows how to cure this kind of sleeping disorder?

And remember that I have wrote that life is so short? Now, I really really believe that life is short, really short, too short. In only five days, two great persons in a 'great' university passed away. No one knows when his or her time will come. And this is one of my fear. The thing may happen wherever and whenever, right? And how if the same thing happens very near to me, very close to the place I live, to my friends and people I know, or even to me! Gosh, I really can't stand this fear. I am not this strong.

I have told my friend about my fear, not this clear actually. I don't know how to expose my fear of (their and my) deaths clearly and unpanickly. Then I just grumbled and cried and did such childish things.

Although one said that I was paranoid, but thanks to his care.

Thanks to everyone who concerns about me:

• Thanks to Win Di for the call and accompanying me all the night.
• Thanks to Denny that successfully distracted my thought by telling me to help him sort some photos.
• Thanks to Randi that assured me that I was not alone on his own way.
• Thanks to Christian that tried to listen to me although he didn't really know what I was afraid of.
• Thanks to Bayu that came to accompany me through YM.
• Thanks to Bowo for the short tutorial of positive thinking.
• Of course, thanks to my mom for not expressing her worry and get online in the middle of the night to call me and tell me some jokes and update me with some 'light' info. 

Love you, all!

And now, let's pray for the clearer state of these cases.

For David, for our freedom, for the sake of Indonesia, for the truth!