Beautiful sunny Friday, and I wish I could be running at the beach, sitting under a tree in a park, or simply hanging out at Starbucks.
But, the fact is, I am trapped nowhere but this office. *sigh*
Friday comes and goes, but the Friday mood never changes for months. I always have no mood to do anything on Friday, simply because it's a Friday, a day when I start to feel the excitement of the weekend. Of course, today's laziness strikes me like usual Friday's laziness, and I haven't done anything from the first time I stepped into this office this morning. No one gave me any job and I didn't bother to ask for one. *naughty, huh? XD*
I have been so busy these days. Those Senior Engineers kept asking me to help them and sure, I was very delighted to be given the trusts. But the thing is my report is tangling me. It is really a burden, I must say. I know I should have started to work on it, but I was too busy to cope on the works, log book, report, facebook, and blog. And I was too lazy to open the document either after work or on the weekend.
And everytime I tried to compose the words for the report, I felt so depressed to imagine the response of my supervisor and suddenly I felt so small and unprofessional and stupid. Everytime I typed the a-z characters, I felt like surrendering and recomposing the whole report. Even now when I am typing about my report, I feel so depressed.
Then, is there a bright future for my report?
I don't know.
But anyway, tomorrow is another weekend!
Time flies so fast, I would have finished my internship in six week time. I am looking forward to the last day of my internship. I think the sadness will strike somehow. XD
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Bahagia
Aku ingin bahagia
Sesederhana gadis kecil dengan es krim stroberinya
Kirimi aku bahagia itu
U're the best I've ever had ~FeN~
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Die
My name is Salmon, like the fish. First name, Susie. I was fourteen years old when I was murdered on December 6th, 1973. I wasn't gone. I was alive in my own perfect world.
A quote from Susie Salmon, said at the beginning and the ending of the movie: The Lovely Bones.
Thanks a bunch is sent to Huili for strongly encouraged me to watch this movie. "You will like it," that's how she persuaded me, and she was right, I like it. No, I love it!
Susie Salmon was just an ordinary girl. She was just a girl in early puberty. She wasn't a billionaire's daugther or something that people was very eager to chase against her. She had no big secret that drove people to kill her. She was just ordinary very ordinary.
She was raped and killed on her way back home by her neighbour, Mr. Harvey. She, then, was trapped inside a blue horizon between earth and heaven and watched every single things that happened after she had left. She saw her family becoming so fragile after her death. She saw her first love thinking about her. She saw her murderer being free to move on. She saw everything.
And after I watched this movie, I started to think, what would happen if I was murdered now?
Would my family let me go or they would trapped inside the greave for years?
Would my bf move on and find a new gf or would he hold the teary eyes for long?
Would my friends keep me in their hearts forever or would they just find my replacement?
Would they, who hate me, forgive all my faults or would they just laugh at me?
Would my murderer be happy or would he feel guilty?
Would I enter the heaven or would I trapped in the middle of nowhere?
And, I keep wondering, what would be the biggest regret if I died now?
Yeah, I don't know the answer, totally don't know. But, to be honest, I am afraid of death, especially those kind of tragic death. And I am praying to God, if You want me to die, please let me die in peace. I don't want to die in a car accident or being raped and murdered, being eaten by animals, being shot by revolvers, or whatever. If my time has come, please, please, please, let me die peacefully.
Anyway, I hasn't felt ready to die. I am just wondering.
Talking about movie, some movie that I really want to watch the most in near time:
1. Ip Man 2
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Friday, April 23, 2010
Senyum
Walau wajah ini tak bisa menampakkan segala
Ketahuilah bahagia hati selalu ada
Ketika cinta itu terasa nyata
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Kecil-Kecil Cabe Rawit
The title is an Indonesian proverb people use very much. Translated in english, it becomes something like this: although small in size, chilli padi is sure very hot. People usually use it when dealing with some party/people that are so smart and fast and whatever despite their size.
And this proverb really implies to Singapore!!!
Being a too-small-even-you-cannot-find-it-on-the-map country, Singapore, so far, has shown its teeth to the world. Even before its independence in 1965, Singapore has become one of the richest countries in Asia due to its strategic location. After the independence day on August 9th 1965, Singapore has been growing and it never stops.
Singapore has become one of the most attractive countries now. So many students want to continue studying here, so many people want to come for vacation here, so many foreigners want to find a living here. So many people want to be the witness of more and more developments of this country.
And this little red dote has a very amazing project of Marina Bay!!!
Have you seen it? If your answer is not yet, I suggest you to scroll up your mouse and click the triangle button.
Marina Bay is the reclaimed land area in Singapore since 1970s. And the area hes been planned to be the extension of central business district (CBD) at Raffles Place. And later, you can find the georgeous mix of housings, offices, recreational area, and nature.
And, of course, I'm more interested to talk about the recreational part :)
The Esplanade
A theatre. With a durian shaped design, the construction of Esplanade was finished in 2002 and it became the icon of this little red dot. The facility inside the Esplanade includes teathre, concert hall, recital studio, library, exhibition space, and open space.
Merlion Park
A park. It is located in front of Fullerton Hotel and there is the Singapore iconic Merlion, half mermaid and half lion. The construction was finished in April 2002 and of course, this place became a great tourist attraction all of a sudden.
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U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
And this proverb really implies to Singapore!!!
Being a too-small-even-you-cannot-find-it-on-the-map country, Singapore, so far, has shown its teeth to the world. Even before its independence in 1965, Singapore has become one of the richest countries in Asia due to its strategic location. After the independence day on August 9th 1965, Singapore has been growing and it never stops.
Singapore has become one of the most attractive countries now. So many students want to continue studying here, so many people want to come for vacation here, so many foreigners want to find a living here. So many people want to be the witness of more and more developments of this country.
And this little red dote has a very amazing project of Marina Bay!!!
Have you seen it? If your answer is not yet, I suggest you to scroll up your mouse and click the triangle button.
Marina Bay is the reclaimed land area in Singapore since 1970s. And the area hes been planned to be the extension of central business district (CBD) at Raffles Place. And later, you can find the georgeous mix of housings, offices, recreational area, and nature.
And, of course, I'm more interested to talk about the recreational part :)
The Esplanade
Merlion Park
The Float @ Marina
A floating platform. Yeah, and this is the first stadium that is floating and considered as the biggest floating structure in the world. The platform can hold 30,000 people in the seating area and can sustain the load of 1,070 tonnes. It was designed in 2 years, built in 13 months, and started its operation in 2007.
Singapore Flyer
A ferris wheel. Yeah, like those in London, Chicago, or Melbourne, but this one is sure the tallest one. With the height of 165 m, people riding it can see all spots of Singapore, plus a few more area of Indonesia and Malaysia, from above. It can take up to 7.3 million passengers per year with 30 minutes time per trip. It was opened since 11 February 2008 and has suffered from two minor and one major breakdowns. The rotation was changed to clockwise direction since August 2008 due to fengshui reasons. *to get rid of the bad luck, maybe?*
Marina Barrage
A dam. It is actually a reservoir for supplying water across Singapore. Taking the use of Kallang and Serangoon Basin, Marina Barrage has been serving the fresh water of Singapore demand since 2008. It provides water supply, flood control, and life attraction area for people.
Double Helix Bridge
A pedestrian walkway bridge. And it is sure very attractive, with the design resembling DNA which represents life and continuity, renewal, everlasting abundance, and growth. And guess, this bridge is the first double helix bridge in the world building with a very special stainless steel to prevent corrosion. Besides the pedestrian brisge, there will be a six-lane vehicle bridge as well. To complement other structures in Marina Bay, it will start to operate soon and the opening ceremony as well as the announcement of the name of the bridge will be held tomorrow, 24th April 2010. There will be some performances, attractions, and also fireworks.
Marina Bay Sands
A casino. The second integrated resort in Singapore after the Resort World Sentosa. Being developed by Las Vegas Sands, it will serve as a great tourist attraction. Marina Bay Sands consists of three 55-storey hotel towers connected at the top by a 1-hectare sky park named Sands Skypark. The sky park will have the highest swimming pool in the world, located 975 m above the ground level. The swimming pool is designed to hold 1440 cubic meter of water and composed by steel. In front of the tower, there will be a Theatre Block, a Convention and Exhibition Facility Block, and a Casino Block. A lotus shape Art-Science Museum will be located next to the three blocks with retractable roof. And it will be opened soon, on 27th April 2010.
The New Waterfront Promenade
A walking patform. It's about 3.5 km long and it is scheduled to be completed in mid 2010. People can walk around Marina Bay by passing Colley Quay, One Fullerton, The Esplanade, The Float @ Marina Bay, Double Helix Bridge, and Marina Bay Sands along the Promenade.
The Fullerton Heritage
A rejuvenation. Clifford Pier and Harbour Branch Building will be rejuvenated to become leisure, F&B, and dining area. It is meant to link the modern city to its history since history really gives impact to how the city stands now. It is scheduled to open starting 2010.
International Cruise Terminal @ Marina South
A cruise terminal. This terminal has been built since 2008 and will start its operation in 2011. The capacity will be double compared to current berthing in Singapore. Later, it will be able to provide an area for four berths!!! Singapore is targeted to be a major cruise hub in the world.
Gardens by the Bay
A complex of parks. Three parks will be built around the area of Marina Bay. They are the Garden at Marina South, the Garden at Marina East, and the Garden at Marina Centre. The Garden at Marina South will link to Marina Barrage and it will have an artificial tree called Super Tree acting as hanging garden, rainwater catch area, night time lighting, bars and restaurants venue, and shading for the pedestrians. The Garden at Marina East is a waterfront park along the Marina Channel. Later, some recreational water leisure activities will be provided in this area. The Garden at Marina Center is a 10 hectares long strip of land along the Marina Promenade. This area will link the Promenade with the other two parts of Gardens by the Bay. The three parks will be completed by the end of 2011.
Okay, and I can't wait for all of them to be completed. I always love to see buildings with nice designs and good ambiance surrounding them. I even think about going for tomorrow's Double Helix Bridge Opening, but it will sure be very crowded there. Can I tahan?
I have spent my whole afternoon blogging and the time is showing 4.22pm, one hour before the weekend. I have no more mood to do anything and now I am confused about what to do to kill one hour time since this post is going to an end. Okay, don't mind me. I will find a way. :)
And, I really cannot wait for the Marina Bay to be something like this!
Although now, it's still something like this:
Singapore is sure HOT!!!
~FeN~
Thursday, April 22, 2010
For You
I see the worries in your eyes. I know what you are afraid for. I get what you are really scared about. I feel the insecurity that haunted you. And I am very sorry for everything. But, it's just the past, and you cannot change anything of it. You can't stand there forever and look behind, too. One single thing that you can do is moving on. And believe me, I'll be your company for your hard times: I'll be your shoulder when you are tearing down, I'll be your shelter when the storm hits you, I'll be your moon when the sun has set, and I'll be the one who smiles and congratulates you for every little thing you have achieved. Believe me.
Maybe you feel a big regret clogged in your throat. Maybe you think God is not fair to you. Maybe you think this world is standing against you. But, God is actually tempering you, strengthen your bones, flesh, and blood so you will be able to face the world at the very time. You are going to be as strong as the trees, you are going to fly as high as the birds, you are going to shine as bright as the sun because you are going through the training God has set for you.
Don't worry about the past. I know it gave you some scar, but sure you can do something about it. You still have time and you still have strength to do anything you want to do to fix it. Remember you have fixed my life one time? If you can do it to mine, sure this time you can do it better for your own. And of course, I'll be doing anything to encourage you.
Now, you need to look forward. Don't be afraid of what you are going to see. You must walk, run, jump, or even swim to reach the finish line over there. Maybe you will struggle, but every time you are feeling like giving up, think about your way back: how long you have walked, what barriers you have passed through, and who you will disappoint if you choose to stop. I tell you, always walk until you cannot walk anymore, God will take you in His shoulder.
Put your faith to His hand and you will feel His blessing inside you. Give your eraser to Him while you are writing your life, He will help you erase the obstacles.
Remember the phrases we like the most, "The champion is not the one who is leading at the beginning; The real champion is the one smiling at the end."
Hold this words tightly and we will be smiling at the end, together, forever.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Maybe you feel a big regret clogged in your throat. Maybe you think God is not fair to you. Maybe you think this world is standing against you. But, God is actually tempering you, strengthen your bones, flesh, and blood so you will be able to face the world at the very time. You are going to be as strong as the trees, you are going to fly as high as the birds, you are going to shine as bright as the sun because you are going through the training God has set for you.
Don't worry about the past. I know it gave you some scar, but sure you can do something about it. You still have time and you still have strength to do anything you want to do to fix it. Remember you have fixed my life one time? If you can do it to mine, sure this time you can do it better for your own. And of course, I'll be doing anything to encourage you.
Now, you need to look forward. Don't be afraid of what you are going to see. You must walk, run, jump, or even swim to reach the finish line over there. Maybe you will struggle, but every time you are feeling like giving up, think about your way back: how long you have walked, what barriers you have passed through, and who you will disappoint if you choose to stop. I tell you, always walk until you cannot walk anymore, God will take you in His shoulder.
Put your faith to His hand and you will feel His blessing inside you. Give your eraser to Him while you are writing your life, He will help you erase the obstacles.
Remember the phrases we like the most, "The champion is not the one who is leading at the beginning; The real champion is the one smiling at the end."
Hold this words tightly and we will be smiling at the end, together, forever.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Mesin Waktu
Dunia membangunkanku pagi ini, sama seperti pagi-pagi kemarin.
Namun tak ingin ku membuka mata.
Karena aku sedang menaiki mesin waktu, kembali ke masa-masa itu.
Saya sungguh rindu masa-masa berseragam itu sampai-sampai mimpi akhirnya mengajak saya ke sana, mengunjungi lagi sekolah dan teman-teman saya. Walaupun tubuh saya tak ikut berkelana, tapi sungguh, kerinduan ini adalah nyata. Saya ingin kembali ke masa putih abu-abu yang hangat, duduk di kelas yang tak ber-AC, menatapi papan tulis yang dicoreti kapur, dan berjejalan di kantin hanya untuk sedikit makanan pengganjal perut.
Saya ingin kembali muda.
Forever young, I want to be forever young.
Do you really want to live forever, forever, and ever?
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Earth Day, Let's celebrate!!!
20th April 2010: two more days to Earth Day 2010!
40 years since the first time they called the day EARTH DAY and the event still cannot get too much attention. So many people are still very blurr and ask, "What the heck Earth Day is?" or "Is it a public holiday? Can I get a day off from work?"
The objective of founding the Earth Day was to increase the awareness and inspire the appreciation for the earth's environment. Senator Gaylord Nelson from USA was the one who initiated this event and until now, this day is celebrated by so many countries around the world.
And this year, do they have any special celebration?
I don't know.
Yeah, I really don't know. I just know that some people concern very much about the climate changes, decreasing population of polar bears, polution, and water crisis; while the other just don't care, don't know, or don't want to know and care.
I surely agree with those who always shout campaigns to promote more awareness to the environment. I don't want my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, or whatever to feel worse conditions. I am already very fed up with the unpredictable weather. It can rain in an instant and turns to be very hot a second after. I am already very tired of inhaling those carbon monoxide from vehicle emission, I am already very stressed for imagining the world will reach its very limit soon. I want to see this world getting old and I want to get old with it. I love it.
I want to be more environmental friendly. I want to save the earth. I want to protect my beloved land. I want to contribute more to my world.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
40 years since the first time they called the day EARTH DAY and the event still cannot get too much attention. So many people are still very blurr and ask, "What the heck Earth Day is?" or "Is it a public holiday? Can I get a day off from work?"
The objective of founding the Earth Day was to increase the awareness and inspire the appreciation for the earth's environment. Senator Gaylord Nelson from USA was the one who initiated this event and until now, this day is celebrated by so many countries around the world.
And this year, do they have any special celebration?
I don't know.
Yeah, I really don't know. I just know that some people concern very much about the climate changes, decreasing population of polar bears, polution, and water crisis; while the other just don't care, don't know, or don't want to know and care.
I surely agree with those who always shout campaigns to promote more awareness to the environment. I don't want my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, or whatever to feel worse conditions. I am already very fed up with the unpredictable weather. It can rain in an instant and turns to be very hot a second after. I am already very tired of inhaling those carbon monoxide from vehicle emission, I am already very stressed for imagining the world will reach its very limit soon. I want to see this world getting old and I want to get old with it. I love it.
I want to be more environmental friendly. I want to save the earth. I want to protect my beloved land. I want to contribute more to my world.
I don't want the earth to call me stupid XD
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Monday, April 19, 2010
---
Kadang aku bertanya-tanya pada dunia, mengapa manusia diciptakan beda-beda? Mengapa satu orang dan yang lainnya suka pada hal-hal yang berlainan? Mengapa harus ada pihak-pihak yang mengalah? Mengapa selalu ada pengorbanan di atas kebahagiaan?
Seperti hanya sedetik memejamkan mata
Aku berubah
Entah inginku atau bukan
Aku melangkah
Dan untuk kembali
Aku butuh lebih dari setahun cahaya
Manusia itu egois, ingin menang sendiri, selalu merasa benar, tak pernah mampu melihat dari mata orang lain. Begitu pula aku yang hina ini.
Mengalah itu adalah hal yang paling sulit untuk dilakukan dengan ikhlas. Aku selalu berusaha mengalah, tapi selalu ada pamrih yang aku harapkan. Aku ingin nantinya orang lain yang mengalah untukku. Aku ingin jadi raja sekali-kali. Aku tak tahu apakah mereka juga mengalami hal yang sama, tapi aku merasa palsu. Untuk apa aku mengalah jika aku hanya menghindar, sementara hati kecilku masih merasa tak puas? Aku sungguh palsu. Jubah. Topeng.
Lagi-lagi perasaan itu datang. Lagi-lagi aku marah. Adakah yang mengerti apa yang aku rasakan waktu itu? Bukan hidupku, memang, tapi aku ingin yang terbaik untuk dirinya. Aku takut bertindak. Semua bagai buah simalakama. Bagai terjerat dalam jaring laba-laba. Cepat atau lambat aku akan ditelan bulat-bulat dan dicerna.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Seperti hanya sedetik memejamkan mata
Aku berubah
Entah inginku atau bukan
Aku melangkah
Dan untuk kembali
Aku butuh lebih dari setahun cahaya
Manusia itu egois, ingin menang sendiri, selalu merasa benar, tak pernah mampu melihat dari mata orang lain. Begitu pula aku yang hina ini.
Mengalah itu adalah hal yang paling sulit untuk dilakukan dengan ikhlas. Aku selalu berusaha mengalah, tapi selalu ada pamrih yang aku harapkan. Aku ingin nantinya orang lain yang mengalah untukku. Aku ingin jadi raja sekali-kali. Aku tak tahu apakah mereka juga mengalami hal yang sama, tapi aku merasa palsu. Untuk apa aku mengalah jika aku hanya menghindar, sementara hati kecilku masih merasa tak puas? Aku sungguh palsu. Jubah. Topeng.
Lagi-lagi perasaan itu datang. Lagi-lagi aku marah. Adakah yang mengerti apa yang aku rasakan waktu itu? Bukan hidupku, memang, tapi aku ingin yang terbaik untuk dirinya. Aku takut bertindak. Semua bagai buah simalakama. Bagai terjerat dalam jaring laba-laba. Cepat atau lambat aku akan ditelan bulat-bulat dan dicerna.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thanks Friday
6.41 am
6.42 am
Rain means water puddle. Rain means gloom. Rain means money loss to those ice cream seller. Rain means traffic jam. Rain means slower movements. Rain means mood swing.
Yesterday when I was passing through the rain to reach Lavender, I was really sure that I hated it. My shoes, my bags, even myself got wet. And suddenly, I thought, if I was in Palembang, I wouldn't need to get worried about the rain. I could just sit in the car and reach the destination without any raindrops falling on my head. And suddenly, I missed my home so much.
6.59 am
8.59 am
9.25 am
9.55 am
11.12 am
I really think that I should try to be more thankful. I seldom feel satisfied with everything I have had. I always want more and more and I never get enough. Is it a strength or weakness? I don't know.
I never looked at the happiness he sent me, but I always protested against the things I didn't like about his treat to me. I am really selfish.
I need to learn to see the very small thing he always does to me and say a sincere thanks.
3.47 pm
4.02 pm
Heaven knows.
4.45 pm
And after she got back to her office, I checked my mail box and found this e-mail from Prof. Lim:
Love you both!!!! <3 <3 <3
5.46 pm
XD XD XD
:) :) :)
I am delighted
10.19 pm
I was having a very good time with bf today, although we just did nothing in Jurong Point. We talked, we laughed, we had fun. The feeling that I didn't feel recently came back eventually. I am happy. :)
But, the censor for toilet, pantry, and laundry were spoiled AGAIN. I had to rush to the 4th level for having my shower, and guess, the water heater didn't work well!!!
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
14042010: Catatan Lain
Jalan panjang ini terlalu panjang untuk diriku sendiri.
Maukah kau berjalan bersamaku?
Aku perlu rambu-rambu
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Maukah kau berjalan bersamaku?
Aku perlu rambu-rambu
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sail and never fail...
Beers and parties we have together
Are really still not enough
There's more things to share
For us to stay tall and tough
We are young, we are free
But we're gonna get out from this spree
Some time later you will sail
To the coast you intend to reach
You can choose head or tail
None can direct your to one beach
People care for you and will always do
'Though you think they always corner you
They just care, they just want to shout
For you to be the strongest one
'Coz you are the creator of your boat
Not me, not them, not anyone
Work on your boat and reach your beach
From pieces of wood and nail
Make it strong and make it glitz
Glide on it and land on your isle
Give it your best shot
And God will grant you the brightest sun in the world
If you think I poke my nose too much to your life, I will just shut my mouth. I hope you can avoid being tangled inside your own problems. Take care!
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Are really still not enough
There's more things to share
For us to stay tall and tough
We are young, we are free
But we're gonna get out from this spree
Some time later you will sail
To the coast you intend to reach
You can choose head or tail
None can direct your to one beach
People care for you and will always do
'Though you think they always corner you
They just care, they just want to shout
For you to be the strongest one
'Coz you are the creator of your boat
Not me, not them, not anyone
Work on your boat and reach your beach
From pieces of wood and nail
Make it strong and make it glitz
Glide on it and land on your isle
Give it your best shot
And God will grant you the brightest sun in the world
If you think I poke my nose too much to your life, I will just shut my mouth. I hope you can avoid being tangled inside your own problems. Take care!
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monday Morning
Monday
6.48 AM
Waiting for the sun goes up before going out
And it's week #14!!!
Oh, Man!!!
My report is due in week #20.
I must catch up on this.
To do lists:
#1 Write the latest entry for my log book
#2 Read materials for my report
#3 Start to struggle on report
#4 Do the office works as well as possible
I wish the final year projects list will be out soon. I'm dying to choose and be chosen.
Yihaaaaa.
Eight more weeks before Changi Airport. :D
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
6.48 AM
Waiting for the sun goes up before going out
And it's week #14!!!
Oh, Man!!!
My report is due in week #20.
I must catch up on this.
To do lists:
#1 Write the latest entry for my log book
#2 Read materials for my report
#3 Start to struggle on report
#4 Do the office works as well as possible
I wish the final year projects list will be out soon. I'm dying to choose and be chosen.
Yihaaaaa.
Eight more weeks before Changi Airport. :D
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Sunday, April 11, 2010
For those
A small talk with bf and I feel like putting it into this blog.
We were in the pantry. I was cutting fruits. He was watching me. Then he told me one of his colleagues was granted for SIA interview. He would probably become a pilot.
"Having a big salary, but his schedule must be very packed. How can he enjoy his life?" bf asked, "Only his wife and children can."
"He can, of course," I replied, "But not with his family. He will enjoy flying around the world and keep visiting great places."
"Then he can enjoy his big salary with the stewardesses," bf suggested.
I didn't know what we were talking till I asked, "Why must the stewardess pretty and tall?"
And this is what I want to write here.
I don't know why, but I realize that most of the good things are just for those who have ideal physical appearance. Being stewardess is one of the example. I am sure there are so many people out there who dream to be a stewardess, but they are just too short, too fat, or they have some scars due to childhood naughtiness.
And then my mind flew to another thing. This questions usually popped up in my mind when I was walking and seeing my surrounding.
Why is fashion created only for those with ideal body?
Yeah, why? I mean, you can see, all the catwalk models are in the very best shape. And the outfits are created for people like them to wear, not for those with excess fat here and there. And when you walk around stores, you will hardly find trendy outfit for XXXL or even XXXXXXXXXL size.
Don't fat people deserve the right to look pretty?
I am sure they feel like wearing those pretty and cute outfits also, but most of the time, they can only wear T-shirts and jeans.
I feel very sad for that condition. Those designers draw for the most ideal body in this world. Even if the manufacturer produced the bigger size, they would look awful in it.
Why don't they start to really draw and design for fat people, so that they will still look pretty even if they have tons of fat?
If I were a fashion designer, ...
Ok, I know, I am not.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
We were in the pantry. I was cutting fruits. He was watching me. Then he told me one of his colleagues was granted for SIA interview. He would probably become a pilot.
"Having a big salary, but his schedule must be very packed. How can he enjoy his life?" bf asked, "Only his wife and children can."
"He can, of course," I replied, "But not with his family. He will enjoy flying around the world and keep visiting great places."
"Then he can enjoy his big salary with the stewardesses," bf suggested.
I didn't know what we were talking till I asked, "Why must the stewardess pretty and tall?"
And this is what I want to write here.
I don't know why, but I realize that most of the good things are just for those who have ideal physical appearance. Being stewardess is one of the example. I am sure there are so many people out there who dream to be a stewardess, but they are just too short, too fat, or they have some scars due to childhood naughtiness.
And then my mind flew to another thing. This questions usually popped up in my mind when I was walking and seeing my surrounding.
Why is fashion created only for those with ideal body?
Yeah, why? I mean, you can see, all the catwalk models are in the very best shape. And the outfits are created for people like them to wear, not for those with excess fat here and there. And when you walk around stores, you will hardly find trendy outfit for XXXL or even XXXXXXXXXL size.
Don't fat people deserve the right to look pretty?
I am sure they feel like wearing those pretty and cute outfits also, but most of the time, they can only wear T-shirts and jeans.
I feel very sad for that condition. Those designers draw for the most ideal body in this world. Even if the manufacturer produced the bigger size, they would look awful in it.
Why don't they start to really draw and design for fat people, so that they will still look pretty even if they have tons of fat?
If I were a fashion designer, ...
Ok, I know, I am not.
Ok, it's a bit small, but you still can get what I mean, right???
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Civil Engineering, my main dish :)
Now I am thinking back, I have lost so many good opportunities in my university life. I had so many things I wanted to do, but I never dared to jump into it and made decision. I am a chicken. D**n.
My mom wanted me to master Chinese by studying in this tiny little dot. I did take the introductory subject, but guess, I didn't dare to take the next level just because I was afraid my GPA would decrease. Yes, I didn't really like it but mastering one more language was nothing to lose, right?
During my second year, I planned to pursue a minor in Communication Studies. I took the first subject of the module, but the grade I got really ruined my GPA, so I just gave it up. I was so coward, wasn't I?
Then after giving up the communication studies which I enjoyed very much, I planned to apply for a minor in entrepreneurship. But, it was just a plan anyway. I chose my way back home rather than more exposure to the real life.
Starting my third year, I decided to learn French. I hoped I could finish three levels of French lessons in the module. I planned to take one in my fifth semester, and the rests in my seventh and eighth semester respectively. I planned to used my last S/U option for the last level. But, due to my paranoia about my GPA, I used up the S/U option. Automatically, I couldn't take the next level. Ok, I can, if I really want to take risk. I just don't want to risk my GPA.
Before my IA was started, I thought it's good for me to taste other country. I thought about GSS. But again, I didn't apply for it. I chose to come back home and be my daddy's little girl.
And now, I feel like trying to teach tuition. It's not all about money. Yeah, money is important, but I want to feel the taste of doing part time job in my university life. But, I 'm really scared I cannot teach well. I'm scared of ruining somebody's child. And again, I must say, I am a chicken. Coward. Whatever.
Will I, once again, lose another chance to improve?
I don't know. But, one thing I am sure that I will not let anybody or anything ruin my chance to be an excellent civil engineer. If I can't eat the side dish, I will not let anyone take my main dish. I will eat up all of the main dish. No sharing. I am greedy. Yes I am.
I will put my best for my future in civil engineering.
I love civil engineering.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
My mom wanted me to master Chinese by studying in this tiny little dot. I did take the introductory subject, but guess, I didn't dare to take the next level just because I was afraid my GPA would decrease. Yes, I didn't really like it but mastering one more language was nothing to lose, right?
During my second year, I planned to pursue a minor in Communication Studies. I took the first subject of the module, but the grade I got really ruined my GPA, so I just gave it up. I was so coward, wasn't I?
Then after giving up the communication studies which I enjoyed very much, I planned to apply for a minor in entrepreneurship. But, it was just a plan anyway. I chose my way back home rather than more exposure to the real life.
Starting my third year, I decided to learn French. I hoped I could finish three levels of French lessons in the module. I planned to take one in my fifth semester, and the rests in my seventh and eighth semester respectively. I planned to used my last S/U option for the last level. But, due to my paranoia about my GPA, I used up the S/U option. Automatically, I couldn't take the next level. Ok, I can, if I really want to take risk. I just don't want to risk my GPA.
Before my IA was started, I thought it's good for me to taste other country. I thought about GSS. But again, I didn't apply for it. I chose to come back home and be my daddy's little girl.
And now, I feel like trying to teach tuition. It's not all about money. Yeah, money is important, but I want to feel the taste of doing part time job in my university life. But, I 'm really scared I cannot teach well. I'm scared of ruining somebody's child. And again, I must say, I am a chicken. Coward. Whatever.
Will I, once again, lose another chance to improve?
I don't know. But, one thing I am sure that I will not let anybody or anything ruin my chance to be an excellent civil engineer. If I can't eat the side dish, I will not let anyone take my main dish. I will eat up all of the main dish. No sharing. I am greedy. Yes I am.
I will put my best for my future in civil engineering.
I love civil engineering.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
This will not happen, I promise
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Future
Friday night. In my room. Thinking.
This week was a happy week. I was very busy for a whole week. Everyone seemed to try to assign me work and kept me busy. And suddenly I remembered a short conversation not long time ago.
That time, one senior engineer has just come back from somewhere. She saw me.
Senior Engineer: Hi, you are????
Me: Febrina. I'm intern.
Senior Engineer: Oooh, I thought you are the assistant of *******!!!
Me: *smiling, don't know what to say*
Supervisor: No, she is the assistant of everyone.
Me: Yes *nodding*
At that time, I really didn't think that I was the assistant of everyone, like my supervisor had said. I was just nothing in the office. I spent my time looking at my computer screen *it means facebook-ing* and no one even bothered to see what I was doing.
I really felt useless. I was paid to sit down and waste the electricity, water, internet, and even oxygen. I felt like getting angry, but who could I blame?
And then, I was shifted to another table, far far away from my supervisor whom I used to sit beside. I was very scared that I would become more and more useless. I was afraid of spending the rest of my internship doing nothing. But, really, everything turned out to be beautiful at the right time. After being shifted, the senior engineer started to give me work. He asked me to model a certain section by myself, and run it. I still remembered my feeling when I finished my first real job, although it's just a very simple model. I was so proud that I could contribute to my company. I was worth to be hired! Haha.
Yeah, the work came and went. Sometimes I still had nothing to do except facebook. But this week I felt happier. I love to be busy, and it's true. I felt grateful for getting more trusts from my colleagues. They have trusted me, that's the reason they started to give me work. Even this week, I shared the work load with them for one project. It's an honour for me!
I am thankful for being given a chance to learn here. It's such a blessing to work in this big company, be surrounded by good people who always explained everything I asked whole-heartedly, and learn so many new things. I realize how things are much more complicated in the practical civil engineering works. So many investigations, observations, explorations, and analysis need to be done before the work starts. It's not just like solving the exam question. It's regarding life and death of people!
So, I should be very thankful for being a civil engineer, the one who takes care of people's life. I must learn hard, pray hars, and later, work hard. :)
This several days, especially now, I am thinking hard about any specialization I will take for my future career. Since the first time I learned Soil Mechanics, I have been falling in love with it. Until now, I still love it. But I didn't think that my grades were good enough to try to master this complicated part of civil engineering. I don't know, I feel like very confused.
During my working time, I enjoyed the work as a geotechnical engineer, really. But, most of the time, I felt so lost about what I was doing. I asked, they explained, I realized that I actually had learned the stuffs at school but had forgotten it for so long. Am I destined to be one of my colleagues in the future?
And then, I realized, God has shown me the way since the very first time.
During the fuss and mess of IA registration, I had considered some choices. First, whether I wanted to do Geotechnical or Structural Engineering. Second, where I wanted to work. For the first consideration, I decided to apply for Structural field for the sake of exposure. I thought maybe I could be in love with steel and concrete, also. And for the second one, it was really difficult. I had some companies in mind, but I didn't know which one to choose. After a long winded consultations with several seniors and friends, I chose AECOM, with structural field in the description.
And guess, the first day I came, I was so surprised, they assigned me in geotechnical division!
Do you think God has shown me my way since then?
God knows the right thing for me. And I believe in Him.
:)
Happy Geotechnic-ing!!!
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
This week was a happy week. I was very busy for a whole week. Everyone seemed to try to assign me work and kept me busy. And suddenly I remembered a short conversation not long time ago.
That time, one senior engineer has just come back from somewhere. She saw me.
Senior Engineer: Hi, you are????
Me: Febrina. I'm intern.
Senior Engineer: Oooh, I thought you are the assistant of *******!!!
Me: *smiling, don't know what to say*
Supervisor: No, she is the assistant of everyone.
Me: Yes *nodding*
At that time, I really didn't think that I was the assistant of everyone, like my supervisor had said. I was just nothing in the office. I spent my time looking at my computer screen *it means facebook-ing* and no one even bothered to see what I was doing.
I really felt useless. I was paid to sit down and waste the electricity, water, internet, and even oxygen. I felt like getting angry, but who could I blame?
And then, I was shifted to another table, far far away from my supervisor whom I used to sit beside. I was very scared that I would become more and more useless. I was afraid of spending the rest of my internship doing nothing. But, really, everything turned out to be beautiful at the right time. After being shifted, the senior engineer started to give me work. He asked me to model a certain section by myself, and run it. I still remembered my feeling when I finished my first real job, although it's just a very simple model. I was so proud that I could contribute to my company. I was worth to be hired! Haha.
Yeah, the work came and went. Sometimes I still had nothing to do except facebook. But this week I felt happier. I love to be busy, and it's true. I felt grateful for getting more trusts from my colleagues. They have trusted me, that's the reason they started to give me work. Even this week, I shared the work load with them for one project. It's an honour for me!
I am thankful for being given a chance to learn here. It's such a blessing to work in this big company, be surrounded by good people who always explained everything I asked whole-heartedly, and learn so many new things. I realize how things are much more complicated in the practical civil engineering works. So many investigations, observations, explorations, and analysis need to be done before the work starts. It's not just like solving the exam question. It's regarding life and death of people!
So, I should be very thankful for being a civil engineer, the one who takes care of people's life. I must learn hard, pray hars, and later, work hard. :)
This several days, especially now, I am thinking hard about any specialization I will take for my future career. Since the first time I learned Soil Mechanics, I have been falling in love with it. Until now, I still love it. But I didn't think that my grades were good enough to try to master this complicated part of civil engineering. I don't know, I feel like very confused.
During my working time, I enjoyed the work as a geotechnical engineer, really. But, most of the time, I felt so lost about what I was doing. I asked, they explained, I realized that I actually had learned the stuffs at school but had forgotten it for so long. Am I destined to be one of my colleagues in the future?
And then, I realized, God has shown me the way since the very first time.
During the fuss and mess of IA registration, I had considered some choices. First, whether I wanted to do Geotechnical or Structural Engineering. Second, where I wanted to work. For the first consideration, I decided to apply for Structural field for the sake of exposure. I thought maybe I could be in love with steel and concrete, also. And for the second one, it was really difficult. I had some companies in mind, but I didn't know which one to choose. After a long winded consultations with several seniors and friends, I chose AECOM, with structural field in the description.
And guess, the first day I came, I was so surprised, they assigned me in geotechnical division!
Do you think God has shown me my way since then?
God knows the right thing for me. And I believe in Him.
:)
Happy Geotechnic-ing!!!
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Senyumnya
Dia sadar aku sering memperhatikannya seiring langkah kakiku
Hari ini dia tersenyum padaku
Dan melambai
Semoga ia bahagia tahu bahwa ada yang benar-benar mencari keberadaannya
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
The Plan II
As promised, I am going to post the plan for the holiday trip planning. I have finished my works today, and now this is the time for enjoying the remaining half an hour.
Jogjakarta, here I come!!!
1. Candi Prambanan
Jogjakarta, here I come!!!
1. Candi Prambanan
This is the biggest complex of Hindi temples in Indonesian. It consists of hundreds temples. A folklore is actually linked with this complex of temples. Just google Sangkuriang for more informations.
2. Candi Ratu Boko
This site is located three kilometer south of Prambanan. Both Buddhist and Hindu aspects can be found in this complex. Lisa said this was the best place to watch the sun setting.
3. Pantai Parangtritis
We will have our dinner here! Yeah, having a dinner with your besties surrounded by wave and ocean wind, do you need to ask for more? Parangtritis is a beach located 27 km from the centre of Jogjakarta and of course, this spot also has a very tight relationship with some myths in Indonesia.
4. Alun-alun Jogjakarta
Alun-Alun Kidul, that's what its name. It is located behind the famous Keraton Jogjakarta which will be explained in the later part. Night at Alkid will sure be a memorable night. Sitting and laughing together while feeling the wind breeze will be the things we will do, I think.
5. Candi Mendut
Another temple, yes. Candi Mendut is a Buddhist temple located at Magelang. This temple have a relationship with two other Buddhist temple at that area, namely Candi Pawon and Candi borobudur.
6. Candi Borobudur
Candi Borobudur, three kilometers west from Mendut. Together with Pawon, the three temples make a straight line in the map. And absolutely, this one is also a Buddhist temple.
7. Jejamuran restaurant
The place where you can only see mushrooms as far as you look. No more comment. Should be so yummy!
8. Ulen Sentalu
Ulen Sentalu is a Javanese art and cultural museum located in Kaliurang. I can't wait to see!!!
9. Malioboro
Yeah, a place for spending your money. I think we will do a BIG shopping here. All the things are so cheap, they say.
10. Kota Gede
Literally, it means big city, but actually this place is an archeological site in Jogjakarta contains the remain of Keraton (palace), the graveyard, and the royal mosque of Mataram.
11. House of Raminten
A restaurant in a Javanese theme. Raminten means a girl who sells jamu, and yeah, the restaurant really serves jamu.
12. Keraton Jogjakarta
This is the palace of the king of Jogjakarta. Yeah, finally I will enter a palace, although I prefer a castle like that in fairy tale. Haha.
13. Bale Raos
I heard that this restaurant serves the favourite cuisine of the king!!!
14. Taman Sari
A water castle, Man. I cannot wait to come and feel the luxury. Hahaha.
15. Pantai Baron
Besides the beach, there is an underground river nearby. It is located 65 km from Jogjakarta. A long way to pass, I guess, but it must be worthed!!!
16. Bukit Bintang
How about seeing Jogjakarta from above???
I am 20 minutes late from my knock off time because of this!!!
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Barisan kata hati
Bibir terkunci
Mata terkatup
Seperti benci
Pintu hati menutup
Sedih tak terucap
Marah tak terluap
Hati terasa pengap
Tak mampu berharap
Senyum tak merekah
Tawa tak membahana
Hanya sunyi beramah-tamah
Menjilat hati yang luka-luka
Beratus hari beriringan
Beratus senja bergandengan
Beribu harap akan angan-angan
Berjuta asa untuk impian
Dua hati untuk satu mimpi
Dua hati satu mimpi beribu masa
Janji itu seperti baru kemarin pagi
Masihkah semua itu nyata?
Manis mulai meremang
Langkah kaki terasa gamang
Takut melayang-layang
Mencari-cari rasa yang hilang
Akhir di sana
Berdiri diam di sudut mata
Bergerilya
Menyerang pada saatnya
Jiwa gemetar
Walau raga tak gentar
Takut merasuk hingga ke akar
Bayang-bayang kekalahan menggelepar
Mengusir akhir
Mencari kekal
Tak ingin batu kenangan terukir
Dan debu pasir di atasnya menebal
Hati tersambung
Selamanya
Tak berujung
Bahagia
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Mata terkatup
Seperti benci
Pintu hati menutup
Sedih tak terucap
Marah tak terluap
Hati terasa pengap
Tak mampu berharap
Senyum tak merekah
Tawa tak membahana
Hanya sunyi beramah-tamah
Menjilat hati yang luka-luka
Beratus hari beriringan
Beratus senja bergandengan
Beribu harap akan angan-angan
Berjuta asa untuk impian
Dua hati untuk satu mimpi
Dua hati satu mimpi beribu masa
Janji itu seperti baru kemarin pagi
Masihkah semua itu nyata?
Manis mulai meremang
Langkah kaki terasa gamang
Takut melayang-layang
Mencari-cari rasa yang hilang
Akhir di sana
Berdiri diam di sudut mata
Bergerilya
Menyerang pada saatnya
Jiwa gemetar
Walau raga tak gentar
Takut merasuk hingga ke akar
Bayang-bayang kekalahan menggelepar
Mengusir akhir
Mencari kekal
Tak ingin batu kenangan terukir
Dan debu pasir di atasnya menebal
Hati tersambung
Selamanya
Tak berujung
Bahagia
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
Monday, April 05, 2010
Happy
A simple happiness is the one which is very difficult to find. Most of the time, people get excited for some spectacular things, but they forget how to be happy for some very simple yet amazing details.
So do I.
I was expecting something very special, extremely spectacular, surprisingly huge, and incredibly jaw-dropping. And you can guess, I have never got what I wanted. Never.
Now I am trying to be happy even for every single drop of tears people put in my eyes. I am trying to be thankful even for every single time I am soaked in the pouring rain. I am trying to stop complaining even this world seems to fight against me. I am trying. Yeah, I am trying.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
So do I.
I was expecting something very special, extremely spectacular, surprisingly huge, and incredibly jaw-dropping. And you can guess, I have never got what I wanted. Never.
Now I am trying to be happy even for every single drop of tears people put in my eyes. I am trying to be thankful even for every single time I am soaked in the pouring rain. I am trying to stop complaining even this world seems to fight against me. I am trying. Yeah, I am trying.
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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