aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

Now I am thinking back, I have lost so many good opportunities in my university life. I had so many things I wanted to do, but I never dared to jump into it and made decision. I am a chicken. D**n.

My mom wanted me to master Chinese by studying in this tiny little dot. I did take the introductory subject, but guess, I didn't dare to take the next level just because I was afraid my GPA would decrease. Yes, I didn't really like it but mastering one more language was nothing to lose, right?

During my second year, I planned to pursue a minor in Communication Studies. I took the first subject of the module, but the grade I got really ruined my GPA, so I just gave it up. I was so coward, wasn't I?

Then after giving up the communication studies which I enjoyed very much, I planned to apply for a minor in entrepreneurship. But, it was just a plan anyway. I chose my way back home rather than more exposure to the real life.

Starting my third year, I decided to learn French. I hoped I could finish three levels of French lessons in the module. I planned to take one in my fifth semester, and the rests in my seventh and eighth semester respectively. I planned to used my last S/U option for the last level. But, due to my paranoia about my GPA, I used up the S/U option. Automatically, I couldn't take the next level. Ok, I can, if I really want to take risk. I just don't want to risk my GPA.

Before my IA was started, I thought it's good for me to taste other country. I thought about GSS. But again, I didn't apply for it. I chose to come back home and be my daddy's little girl.

And now, I feel like trying to teach tuition. It's not all about money. Yeah, money is important, but I want to feel the taste of doing part time job in my university life. But, I 'm really scared I cannot teach well. I'm scared of ruining somebody's child. And again, I must say, I am a chicken. Coward. Whatever.

Will I, once again, lose another chance to improve?

I don't know. But, one thing I am sure that I will not let anybody or anything ruin my chance to be an excellent civil engineer. If I can't eat the side dish, I will not let anyone take my main dish. I will eat up all of the main dish. No sharing. I am greedy. Yes I am.

I will put my best for my future in civil engineering.
I love civil engineering.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~