Thursday, April 10, 2008

I am vomiting a blue

Labels: at 4/10/2008 09:45:00 PM

Again, the feeling of being abandoned pop up in my heart... And the images of 'you' playing with your new toys make me more and more severe... And to my surprise, I thought of 'him' today... He suddenly appeared in my mind today after disappearing for long time... Dunno why... Maybe because I am lacking of care and love and friends to share with, so I thought of contacting him... Hmm, if that's the way, I will just make use of him... I don't want to be that cruel... I don't need to abuse others, especially 'him', who lived in my life long long time ago...

I feel something stabbed my on my chest and it was super duper painful... For my not-too-good health condition, this feeling is really worsen everything... Phew... I cannot do anything now except pray for your good health, good concentration, and good decision... Hope you will get a very very good decision for our future...

Lalala
Lonely and poor Febrina
She cannot cry although she wanna
Now she needs her mama
To help her pass this idiot drama

Exam is approaching... That's Nicos' personal message...
Ya, really, exam is approaching... They all have started studying and preparing well for the exam, I think... But, me... I am the one who still have partial concentration rate (Sounds intellectual, right? But I don't know what it means, actually... =P) and I am the one who still think about other unimportant things... So foolish I am...

All the things that take all my concentration and energies are somehow make me want to vomit... I want to vomit all my problems, sadnesses, angers, and anything till nothing that can prevent my heart growing is left inside my heart...

I think about exam, how to manage my time, how to study effectively... I think about you and your new toys and our chit-chat yesterday, yesterday, and yesterday of yesterday... And I think about the reality that almost no one knows I am exist... However, I am also a human, I need a reward to prove that I am exist... And, you can see, how my brain is filled with lot of unimportant things... Hhhhh, I am really stupid...

I was going mad about you, but then I thought that none of the things bothered you... So, what should I bother it if you didn't even think about it????

Haha, what I am talking about... I also don't know...

Ya, ya, ya...
Exam is coming...
C'mon, Fen... Leave those crazy silly thoughts and start a brand new day tomorrow... (I think I always say this but I never made it come true... I always fall down before reaching the top...)

Phew...
I think I have vomited a small portion of my suffer and I am, oh, I have to be ready for the exam...

For all NTU students...
Happy exam...
Wish you all the best...

Let this be my exam wishes for you all...
^^

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

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