Have you ever felt like it's better for you to fall down from the top of stairs in front of LKC, or be crushed by a car, ok, bicycle so that you lose all your memories and can start everything from the very very beginning?
If you have ever felt like that, we are the same...
If your answer is never, teach me how to think positively...
Really, these days, or even these weeks, I thought about it several times.... Ok, maybe more that several... I thought and until now I still think that it will be nicer if everything is reset and I can start a really new life...
Another thing that always popped up in my mind these days, or even these weeks, is going back to be a child and leave all my burden here...
Phew...
I am going to be mad, I think...
Too much pressure these days and I could not stand anymore...
I want to get back to my mom's arm and stay there till the end of the world... But I know I can't... I'm not a child anymore, although I want to be... I have some, or lot of problems to be solved...
I am not a wonder woman that can do everything... I need support, and I feel like no one supports me... When I want to seek advice, they are not there or here or anywhere for me... Sometimes I think, I always try to be here when they need me, but why don't they give me a little of their time?
Yup, maybe you think I'm selfish, but this is me... I have no choice except keep claiming about this life... All I did these last weeks was just starring without direction... They always said, "Ngelamun aja..." but what should I do? I cannot do anything except 'ngelamun'... I have no more strength to act as if I am the happiest girl in this world... I cannot lie to my own heart...
I want to fly...
I want to be a free little bird...
I want to sing lalala every single time I have...
Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, Baby
I need you...
To reach my little little happiness...
U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~
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