aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

People say that God only gave one mouth for humans so that we can read more, listen to surroundings more, and help more.

But now, I understand. Even with only one mouth, people tend to misuse it and create trouble. What will the world be like with two mouths in each person? Double trouble? Haha.

My mom always taught me to think before talking, not to offend people with my words, and never throw any unpolite words from my mouth. Yeah, sometimes I was out of the boundary and said something that I regretted later. But, I really put my best effort not to hurt others by my mouth since I believe that I will get my karma if I do so.

And today, I think I got my karma for the n-th time. Another series of words hit me and another hard feeling came out as the result. I don't know whether I am the one who is too sensitive or some people just really couldn't hold their mouth.

I know I shouldn't ruin my amazing journey, that's why I chose not to throw my tantrum and keep quiet to let my heart cool down. I convinced myself that I didn't need the apology to forgive the person. It will just waste my precious energy to wait for an apology from a person that doesn't even know how to control his/her own tounge. I will just let any tantrum to evaporate and be absorbed by the thin air in the sky. I will forgive the person, but I will not forget today.

Thanks to bf whom I reached as soon as I reached my computer. Even without his words, I felt lot of relief by telling him what I felt. He told me not to let this small thing distract me. People are just envy you, that's what he said. I know it wasn't true. But at least I felt more secure. Thanks, Dear!

And a huge thanks for a friend! I owe her. She noticed me and I was so touched when she asked me what happened. I almost cried in front of my computer. Haha. She told me to forgive like people forgive me and of course, like God always forgive my sin. And then, He will praise me as magnanimous. :) :) :)

Btw, magnanimous is completely new vocabulary for me. Double thanks!!!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

"And Shrek kissed the princess. Finally they lived happily EVER AFTER!"

I have watched the final chapter of Shrek's life until he really found his happily-ever-after-ending. And I should say, it has satisfied me. The story told us about Shrek who suddenly felt that he wasn't an ogre anymore. No one was afraid of him and he felt like getting back to the time when people still thought he was so scary. He finally threw his temper during his children first birthday party in FarFarAway Land.

Then he met Rumpel, a magic deal maker and they agreed to changed one day from Shrek's past with a day when Shrek was still a monster. Then, to his surprise, Rumpel took the day when Shrek was born. So, he wasn't exist anymore. No people knew him, even Donkey and Fiona. And Fiona in this another world was so different with Fiona that Shrek got married with. He struggled from the scratch to make Fiona fall in love with him and give him a true love's kiss. That's the only way to get away from the agreement.

And he, without his realization, fell in love once more with Fiona.

Guess I have spoilt part of the fun. So, do watch it to complete the other half! :P

One of my friends said in a quite sarcastic tone that inspite of the visual technology, Shrek offered nothing. And I totally very very disagree!

Let's try to see deeper and realize that cartoons actually give us moral messages as much as any other movies. The thing is just the childish packaging. They just make it suitable for kids and pack it in a fully funny and entertaining way. And some people have the mindset that cartoons are just for kids with napkins and diapers.

But for me, there's no 'TOO OLD' for cartoons.

And, what did Shrek teach us, by the way?

#1 Your prince charming doesn't need to be physically 'charming'
~FeN~

I don't know why, but these few days, maybe almost one week, I always had dreams and I always felt terribly tired when I woke up on the next day.

And guess, my dreams were always in one theme: LEISURE.

I dreamt about bf, his sister, and I going out for lunch.
I dreamt about us, again, doing window shopping
I dreamt about my friends and I having a trip
I dreamt about my family in a vacation

Last night, I even dream about going on a tour with bf and his grandparents! And I never met them, you know.

It looks like my soul really needs a full rest and holiday. These dreams get me missing my hometown more and more.


I am home-sick.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Again, it's FRIDAY! And today, I have no mood to do anything. And even my computer, I guess, also has no mood to do anything. When I input the corrected parameters for my barrette piles, columns, slabs, and everything, they just didn't appear in the PLAXIS calculation mode. I tried to click everything, but the stubborn wrong parameters were just too stubborn to make their way out of my sight and let the correct new parameters appear. After I gave up, I went to SJ's table and asked her about this matter.

And, very paiseh! When she came to my table and simulated the procedure I did to change the parameters, those stubborn wrong parameters suddenly disappeared. Maybe they were too shy to see a cute lady in front of them. XD

And now, my PLAXIS is running, but I cannot run away from this busy Friday. There will be a BBQ party my company holds tonight and my cousin and nephew are in Singapore now. I want to jump straightaway to the evening and go to one of them to have fun. I still don't know which one I want to choose, but I will sure have fun tonight.

I got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good good night...

Yeah, and since several days ago, I am in an urge to read a good book! That's why I pick up 'The Lost Symbol' from my shelf and re-read it. I have read all Dan Brown's book twice. Yeah! And I cannot wait for the next amazing book from him.

And thanks to Huili that told me about the Popular closed sale tomorrow. I think I will be going and find one book to read during the spare times before my departure to Indonesia.

I love book. I love book. I love book.
I looooooove BOOK.



U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

I have handed my report together with my log book to my supervisor today. I came earlier to the office, proofread my report for the nth time, saved it into pdf file, got my colleague print it out in colour for me, went to the binding machine and used it for the first time in my life, and handed everything to my supervisor.

And the world seemed brighter as well as thunderous after it.

Yeah. It's true. A bulky burden has suddenly fly away, but I was so scared that what I wrote was not correct or what. My supervisor is a very detail and careful person, so I tried to write as nice as possible for him since I didn't think that my NTU tutor would bother even to run through my report.

And guess, what did my supervisor say.

"Your report is too detailed lah," he told me in one of his e-mails.

"Everyone around me said it's so detailed. You get A*," he jokingly told me while passing my table.

And he even told my colleagues that I was ready for a thesis presentation. =.=

What a day!
Phew!
I am free!!!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

It's all just simply because...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

I was sitting inside the MRT sleepily when my eye caught the headline of the paper a man held. It said, "Maid Hero Died to Save a Baby" with a blurr photo of a woman that looked really Indonesian.

Reached the office, I tried to ask Mr. Google about this matter and he really gave me an 'enlightenment'. Lol.

A maid was hit by an SMRT bus when she was crossing the road on the pedestrian crossing around Choa Chu Kang with her boss' family. She was walking with the youngest daughter while her boss was walking behind with their eldest daughter. Unfortunately, an SMRT bus number 302 coming to their way. She flung the little girl forward, but she couldn't save herself.

Her boss found her, a moment later, pinned under the third set of wheels of the bus.

This tragic accident happened on April 24th 2010 at 7.30 PM. And I just knew it one month after. A bit sad, really, to know that I couldn't participate to donate to her family. But, from the deepest of my heart, I send my deepest condolance to her and her family. May she rest in peace and get the best place in heaven and may her family given the strength to face the truth.

Although she was just a maid, although the girl wasn't her daughter, although she was a foreigner, although she knew she needed to go back home and feed her family, she chose her fate to die, to save a younger soul.

And, inspite of my sadness to her, I am really proud to be in the same nationality as her. She has shown the world that in this who-cares? world, you still can find those with pure motivation to help others. She was the real hero of the community, much better than those who always talked bullshit about saving people but did nothing.

And again, my deepest condolence.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Oh, Man!

Ask and it shall be granted

To : All Students on Industrial Attachment


INDUSTRIAL ATTACHMENT PROGRAMME S2, AY 2009/2010
11 JANUARY 2010 TO 12 JUNE 2010

Final Assessment by Organisation Supervisor (DPA/51)

The final assessment on your performance in industry is an important assessment that has to be submitted by your organisation supervisor to your NTU tutor during his/her visit before 28 May 2010.

For your interest, we would like to suggest that you remind your organisation supervisor to complete the DPA/51 form and ask him/her to give it to your NTU tutor during his/her visit to see you. Please note that students are not allowed to handle Form DPA/51.

Final Report on Industrial Attachment (DPA/53)

The final report on your Industrial Attachment must be submitted to your NTU tutor by 28 May 2010 or an earlier date specified by your NTU tutor. Please arrange with your NTU tutor for the timely submission of the report. You are required to clear your report with your organisation before submitting it to your tutor.

The guidelines for your final report are on Page 13 to 17 under "Reference Information and Rules & Procedures During IA" in the StudentLink. Although a hard cover binding is preferred, you are allowed to use other forms of binding as long as they are presentable and functional. The IA final report will be returned to you before your graduation from NTU.

After the submission of the final report, you are required to continue with your attachment until 12 June 2010 or the extended date specified in the student’s leave approval letter from the Office of Academic Services or the re-assignment letter/email from our office. No early release will be allowed. (The end date may vary for students on GIP and students who started their IA late.)

Please note that to pass your Industrial Attachment, you have to fulfill the required IA period and pass all the three assessment components, namely ‘Logbook and Oral Interview (DPA/50)’, ‘Work in Organisation (DPA/51)’ and ‘Final Report (DPA/53)’.
Loh Pui Wah
Chairman
Industrial Attachment Steering Committee

I received the mail yesterday, and suddenly I realized that I had only a very limited time. My report and logbook need to be submitted before 28th May 2010, which is three weeks later. Before that, I need to let my supervisor check on both of them. So, I need to rush and finish them a week before.

But, even before I see any bright path in front of me, my brain has wandered to a heaven which I call HOLIDAY!

So, my holiday will start unofficially on 28th May 2010 when I am free from the burden of report and log book.

To open my 'holiday', I will go to the Cathay to watch the premiere of Prince of Persia. Thanks a bunch to the EE Committee who arrange this movie premiere session. Cheers for you all! Cheers for AECOM!!!

It's so happy to imagine those holiday times. And now, I feel HOMESICK.  :(

Right after my internship, I will move out from the hall and get back to Jakarta. My family will wait for me there to have our vacation. This family I mention is not only my closest circle family. I will have a trip with my mom, my dad, my brother, two of my aunts, my uncle, three cousins, one cousin in-law, one niece, and one nephew. A huge group vacation, huh? And we will drive in Palembang-Jakarta-Bandung-Sarangan-Bromo-Jakarta-Palembang trip! Yeah. I am looking forward it although it will be more exciting if bf joins us. :)

Then, I will be going back home and (hopefully) do everything I have planned in mind.

1. Swim more
I miss swimming! I know I have been leaving swimming pool for a very long time and suddenly there's an urge inside me to get back to pool and play with the water.

2. Jog more
I have tried to run every weekend since three weeks ago and I enjoy it. I hope I can continue running in Palembang although I know it's a bit tedious since I need to drive to the stadium when the sky is still pitch dark.

3. Go to gym
This is my promise with bf. Oh no, this is bf's promise to me. We both need to cut down some (oh, yes, a lot) fat here and there. Haha. I want to remove excess fat in my belly and arm, especially. >.<

4. Learn to apply some make-up
I am really eager to learn to be familiar with lipstick, mascara, blush on, eye shadows, foundation, and those make-up thingy. Until this state when I have a big 2 as the first digit of my age, I don't know how to apply mascara. Next year is the graduation year and I will have more events to attend, so I should hold some basic knowledge about this thing. Yosh!

5. Change my hairstyle
I feel my hair is very messy nowadays. It's getting thicker, I realize, but I just feel like it doesn't look nice: either too long, too wavy, too this, or too that. I feel like cutting it off, or get smoothing, or make it curly, or trim it a little bit and highlight it. Let's see later what I will do to this little girl. XD

6. Prepare myself for TOEFL Test
I felt like taking TOEFL Test since I had the thought of continuing my study overseas. To study during holiday term is sure not a good idea, but this is  for my future, for a bright one. I hope I have a very stiff will to study. Ganbatte!!!

7. Have another trip to Java
This is a plan since long long time ago and I hope this wish is granted to us. :)

Happy holiday all!
Create your own heaven in your holiday!

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

I was listening to my Laurel when I saw someone called me, "Xiao jie, xiao jie!". It was just in front of the Concourse, the place which I call 'office' since the past four months. I plugged my earphone out and greeted the man. I thought he wanted to ask direction or something. He was in his late twenty or early thirty, I guessed and I didn't think anything bad at all.

Him: I want to ask you for a help
Me: Ya?
Him: Wah, you wear contacts? So pretty.
Me: *silent*
Him: I have lost my wallet. Now, I cannot go home. So, I would like to borrow from you some amount of money, about S$10 or 20. I will leave you my mom's phone number and tomorrow I will give it back to you.
Me: *speechless*
Him: You are still working here tomorrow, right?
Me: Sorry, I don't have enough money. I don't hold cash.
Him: You don't have a S$10 cash?
Me: Don't have, sorry.
Him: Is there any ATM in this building
Me: Don't have.
Him: Or else, you go to the ATM and draw some money to lend me.
Me: Hmm, sorry, I think cannot.
Him: Oh, I will not harm you. I will just walk behind you. Really, you don't need to be afraid.
Me: No, you better find another person.
Him: Please, help me.
Me: Sorry.
Him: (a bit angry) Bang mang yi dian lah!

Then, I walked as fast as I could towards my destination with my heart thumping and my body shivering. I was so scared. I was afraid he would do something rude to me since I didn't give him the money he asked. I didn't dare to look back. I just walked faster until I reached Lavender.

I messaged mom and bf in an instance. Mom called me afterwards, asked me to keep praying and be thankful that I didn't get my money robbed or anything worse. She reminded me not to talk to strangers that easily. She sounded so panicked and I knew she felt what I felt. Bf just reluctantly listened to my story. He said as long as I was okay, it's no need to get panicked. He acted cool but I was quite sure he was feeling worried too.

I was so thankful that I was surrounded by those loves. But, I was so confused why I kept meeting crazy strangers these days. Was it me who started to feel paranoia, I started to think.

=.=

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Blog spamming!!!
And everybody knows, when I am flooding my blog with soooo many unimportant posts, I am stressed out.

I start to feel that 24-hour is not enough for me. I have so many things to do with so little time. I spend my time for at least 9 hours in the office, provided I don't work overtime, which is not that true since I always went back late for these two weeks. I spend my time in MRT and bus or walking for about three hours a day. I sleep for minimum 6 hours at night. I take a bath for total 1 hour, let's say.
And I only have 4 hours a day for other things!

When is the time for doing the report?
When is the time for slacking?
When is the time for calling mom?
When is the time for more sleep?

And really, I hope more than 12 numbers to mark the watch.

But, being engaged in this Industrial Attachment, especially in AECOM Singapore, is a blessing for me. I am thankful, really.

And I will enjoy every minutes left for me to spend here. I will enjoy for the works they give me, whether it's too technical or just the reverse. I will enjoy the time after 5.30pm I spend for finishing the work. I will enjoy the rest little allowance the company gives me. I will enjoy walking from Lavender to the office. I will enjoy holding the access card. I will enjoy the cold the air conditioner sends me. I will enjoy this always-not-responding computer. I will enjoy the hawker centre. I will enjoy everything and be thankful. Yeah, everything. EVERYTHING. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Before I started the internship, I was afraid I couldn't get into the environment. When I first entered this internship world, I was afraid I couldn't work well. After a few weeks of internship, I felt I didn't contribute for the company. But now, in this spot, I stand here, looking back, I know I have grew during these months. I communicate better now, I dare to decide now, I contribute more now.

AECOM sure has given me a part of puzzle to complete the drawing of my life. I learn, I grow, and later, I will bloom like a flower.

I remembered talking to Huili that everyday I came to the office to count the hours to pass. When we finished our lunch, we felt so happy that we only needed to count for 4 more hours before we could pack our stuffs and head back home. Sometimes we even e-mailed each other to count the time down as if we were waiting for the new year to come. But now, I don't count the time down anymore. It just passes, no, it flies!

Yeah, it flies, flies me to this point where I have only six weeks to complete my role as an NTU intern. I am so happy to be given this chance to have an internship in an international scale company.

I am happy...


These six weeks, I will capture every moment I can and store them forever in my heart. This is the start of my career and I should end it beautifully *with an A :)*

Happy IA!
IA is my key to the success :)


U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

I remembered the first time I saw the proposed design of the Marina Bay Sands. Was Prof. Chiew Sing Ping who showed us the video of the development of Marina Bays and told us that most of the structures were made of steels.

Two thoughts came across my mind.
1. I was so thankful that God led me to be a civil engineer, the one that could build the beauty
2. I promised someday I would go to the Sands Sky Park to swim regardless how much I should pay



The Sands Sky Park is a platform above the Marina Bay Sands Hotel with an area of 12400 sq meter. It can hold up to 3900 people and consists of an observation deck, landscaped garden, three F&B outlets which one of them is a night club, and one swimming pool.


The swimming pool is 150m in length and stands about 200m above the ground level. It is the highest swimming pool EVER! Can you imagine you are swimming but you feel that you are flying? I can, and I WANT!!!

But, sadly, the swimming pool is only opened for the hotel guests. The management doesn't open the swimming pool area for public although the observation deck can be accessed.

And, I have no choice except being the hotel guest to enjoy the experience of swimming above the clouds.

Or, I can hold my wedding (later, of course) there!
It will be a georgeous pool party!

Okay, the plan set!

Problem: Can I afford it?

Solution: to be confirmed later

When imagination goes wild, let it bloom.

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

P.S. I am amazed

I was walking my way to the office from Lavender, just like everyday, when I saw something different today. A man, maybe in his early 30s, was sitting at one spot along the path way. I didn't spot him at first until I felt his eyes inching me.

When I looked at him, to my surprise, he was looking at me as if I was a delicious dinner or something. And he was smiling so greedily. I threw away my face and walked as fast as I could till I was sure he couldn't see me anymore.

And I was really scared. I couldn't believe how people could be so rude in manner. It's a harassment and I really didn't like it.

I wonder what actually makes some people behave like that. Aren't they educated enough to see others as human beings? Didn't they learn how to respect others? Are they human?

Hey you!
Go to hell and never come back!


U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

When the pilot decided to activate the autopilot

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Yesterday.
1st May.
Labour day.

And I am sad that it fell on Saturday.

Since I am a slave, there's no substitute for the holiday. The works will resume normally on Monday.

Okay, I want  to start a movement for initiating a SLAVE DAY!!!



U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

Perahu Kertas:

Carilah seseorang yang mampu melakukan segalanya untukmu tanpa perlu kau minta dan lakukan segalanya untuk orang yang kau cintai tanpa perlu ia meminta

Karena ketulusan datang tanpa ada pinta
Tanpa perlu permohonan

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~