aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

These days I felt really not well and it drove me crazy. I was afraid that something had gone wrong inside my body. I was afraid that I got something considered 'serious illness'. I was afraid I couldn't continue my life as I wished before.

Yeah, to cut it short, I was afraid of death.

But thanks to my mom, my dad, Win Di, and Delli who were very willing to listen to me grumbling all day and night long, who were very patient to absorb my every horrible thought, and who were very kind to calm and assure me that everything's gonna be okay. 

Although I felt more secure, I still worried about what illness might be growing inside me. I was very worried, yeah, very worried. I slept in a worry.

But today, as I got up and found Prof. Lim Siow Yong's e-mail in my inbox, I found the link to that video I just attached above. I watched it and I felt like crying. I felt I was very small and useless. He has no motoric senses, but he can still find himself very cheerful and optimistic. He cen even motivated others. And me? See? I am just his opposite. I just suffered from severe migraine, tension headache, queasiness, stomach ache, and bone pain, and I acted like my world had been going to an end, a sad ending.

And I remembered, when he said, when he fell down, he would try and always try to stand back again, regardless how many efforts he would go through. He made use to the thing near him to support him to stand back.

I was very touched by this person, really. While watching this video, I had made a promise in my heart that I would finish strong. I will finish strong, not pretend to be strong. I will seek support from my family and my good friends. I will finish it strong with their helps.

Now, I realize, back then, I have fallen some times. I've managed to stand back everytime, although some needed lot of energy and some just required a little push. So, what will make this time impossible for me to stand back?

I will finish it strong, now and in the future.