aLL 'BouT 'Fe-Ar'

This month is not a good month for me... Although my special day happened to be this month, I feel a lot of negative aura this month...

My spirit to study declined a lot this month... Since I felt the go-home euphoria, I lost my appetite of lecture notes, tutorial questions, and anything regarding school... I was much more addicted to blogging... See my post this month... No one would believe if I said those posts were mostly created in a week full of quizzes... Phew...

My mood fluctuated so bad... It moved up and down without any permission, made me feel like crying, screaming, vomiting, or anything... It even made me hate myself... Phew again...

Another reason was the fact that I turned eighteen this month... I was not and still not ready to be eighteen... I want thirteen or fourteen as well... I don't want to be grow old... Noooooo....

Then, I felt lack of everything this month... I felt lack of confidence... Lack of trust... Lack of spirit... Lack of positive thought... Lack of good mood... Lack of everything, I told you... Due to something I also don't know till this time...

I feel very tired this month... All things in my head messed up... I suddenly hate this thing, and hate that thing, even hate myself... Nothing went well, I think... Dunno why...
Phew...
Phew...
Phew...

Should I call this month, "Februari yang Suram" ?

Dunno leh...
My head is dizzy liao...

Tomorrow is a new Month...
Hope I will get a new blessing...
So that I can stand up again and start all over again...

Thirty four minutes to a new (hope so) bright day...

U're the best I've ever had
~FeN~